Love Languages

I finally figured out my love language. It's not supposed to be a long drawn-out process, but for me it was. I don't know why. But this week it finally hit me. My love language is "words of affirmation." I should've known this. I mean--I *am* a ham and love to be on stage and performing and hearing the applause. But for some reason, I kept thinking there had to be more to it than that. Nope. Words of affirmation. That's me!

Here's how it finally came crashing down into my brain. Last Thursday was our 3rd grade program. The kids were doing an instrumental program this time around. This was done partly because we have to do the program so stinkin' early in the year and partly to show off our fabulous Orff Carts that the PTA purchased for the music program. "Some people" thought they were a waste of money, so I decided to show everyone what a difference they can make. Because of the carts, I can actually use the barred instruments more often because it's not such a hassle getting them out for the kids.

So last Thursday night, the kids were set to perform for the PTA meeting. (That's a whole other story in itself!) We were informed about a week before that our superintendent would be attending and had a 15 minute presentation. Umm...okay. We'll go on after him.

(Words of affirmation. I know. I'm getting there.)

I didn't really expect Dr. R to stay for our program. Maybe he had another school to present to. Maybe he had a dinner date. Maybe his time is more valuable than mine. Whatever. He didn't stay. I would've been pleasantly surprised if he had, but I was not surprised that he didn't.

However...

The third graders performed that afternoon for the school. Our principal was not in attendance. She was in the building, but not at the assembly. She *was* there for the evening performance. She did not introduce us nor speak to the parents from the time I was in there. (I spent Dr. R's presentation time corralling 100 third graders in the gym with a little help from my fellow specials teachers.) After the presentation, she didn't say a word to me. She has never mentioned the program. At all. Not once.

Now...I know that I don't do programs for the applause. (Well, okay...maybe a little bit.)The kids did a FANTASTIC job. I was so very, very proud of them. And that's why I do what I do. It's not for the accolades and certainly not for the high paycheck. But...even a "good program" from the principal would go a long way toward me feeling better about what I do.

I don't expect to be the darling of the faculty. And many, many of my fellow teachers acknowledged what a great job the kids did. That's when I realized it. Words of affirmation. They make all the difference in how I feel about myself, what I do and who I am. That's what I need. Tell me I look pretty. Tell me the dinner is tasty. Tell me the house looks great or thank you for doing the laundry. Tell me I'm a good mom, wife, teacher, person. Yep...words of affirmation. I should probably pass along this revelation to Richard, huh?

Random Thoughts on a Rainy Wednesday

James is sick. It's not the flu or strep throat, but he's running fever, achy, sore throat, sniffles. Your garden-variety cold. I stayed home with him yesterday and today and will again tomorrow trying to get him fever-free for 24 hours.

But as I was taking our afternoon rest yesterday, I realized something. I was blissfully happy. I had dusted and vacuumed the downstairs, done the dishes and set up dinner. We'd eaten lunch and were lying on my bed reading. It was a beautiful, sunny, warm fall day. The windows were open and the breeze was blowing the curtains nicely. The neighbor's wind chimes were providing some lovely background music. Oh how I would love to be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) again.

Today...the weather has changed. It's a blustery, rainy, getting-chillier-by-the-minute fall day. And again...I'm loving it! I had to close the windows because it was starting to rain in, but I can still hear the rain outside. The dog is making quite a bit of noise chewing on his rawhide bone--but that keeps him from being bored and wanting to go in and out constantly in the rain. I decided not to mop the floors today--for the exact reason of the dog and the rain. (I'm never going to get them mopped if this keeps up!) We'll have some lunch soon, take a little rest and then bake some cookies. I'll still have time to pay the bills (yuck) and put together dinner. I might even vacuum and dust upstairs. Maybe.

It's not financially possible for me to be a SAHM. It's just not. And that's okay. My job as a teacher is the next best thing. I'm home when the boys are home usually. We're gone together usually. But...staying home this week with my sick boy (who's not so sick that he can't play on the computer or other video games--he's not tied to me 24/7) has reminded me of what my true calling is. I am a mother in Zion. I'm raising three stripling warriors. The pressures of working and running the home are crazy and I've learned to give where I can and need to. Maybe the floors don't get mopped, but the boys get fed, homework gets done, prayers get said. We play a game. We watch a movie. Or...we hang out in separate rooms of the house, but they know I'm here if they need or want me.

But this...today...this week...this is my dream. Maybe I'll run out and buy just one lottery ticket.

Rain, Rain Go Away

I am so sick of rain I just don't even know what to do. I love the fact that it's fall. I love that we are having below-average temperatures. I love the feel of the cool air...BUT...

it's not crisp. It's cool, but it's wet. It has been raining and/or cloudy for going on two weeks. I NEED SUNSHINE! Sheesh! If I wanted to live in Seattle (or Forks, for that matter), I'd move there. I live in Texas. There is supposed to be sun. This past weekend, the sun was supposed to break through. Never did. Not once. It's gray and wet and depressing.

I have figured out one very important difference between children and adults. When it's gray and cloudy and rainy like this, we adults just want to sleep. We want to curl up under a blanket with a good book or a good movie and hunker down and nap. Kids? They get stir-crazy and start bouncing off the walls. They're agitated and silly. They need fresh air. Now...put those two opposite emotional states together in a classroom or a home. It's not a pretty picture.

We need some sun please.

Ditching

We ditched church today. No real reason. I just didn't feel like going today. That's a rare happening. Well, truthfully, there are many Sunday mornings when I don't feel like going through the whole Sunday morning routine--making everyone get dressed, brush their teeth (why is that such a big deal?), eat something before we leave, find their scriptures, etc. It's usually a frustrating time, but we end up there on time (usually early) and end up enjoying the day.

This morning...I just didn't want to deal with all of that. I didn't want to get dressed or showered or get out of bed even. I wanted a lazy day. I feel a little guilty about that, but not guilty enough to actually get out of bed. The boys have used this ditch-day to their advantage. James has laid around with Richard watching TV, helping cook some lunch and just basically enjoying having his dad around. I have been in bed. I watched the part of Saturday morning conference that I missed last week. I've played Facebook games. I'm watching the Cowboys "play" right now--then will switch to NASCAR. Richard and I might take Larry for a walk together later this afternoon.

I'm not sick, although I do have a headache. I'm just tired. Maybe it's the weather. I haven't seen the sunshine in over a week. We have a three-day weekend. I'm hopeful that I can get back on track tomorrow--get some cleaning done, dinner cooked, etc. Richard's staying through Tuesday evening so he can go to Chris's orchestra concert Tuesday night. I guess we all need a day like this. Although it's true that when one doesn't want to go to church, that's usually the time when there's something there that is specifically for me, but I really don't feel too badly about today. It's a rare thing when we ditch. We'll get back in the swing of things next week. Of that I'm absolutely sure.

Weight Watchers and Me

I finally did it. I finally gave in and joined Weight Watchers. I've gained a good 15-20 pounds in the last year and it's time to make it go away again--and maybe a bit more than that if I can. I've been following "the plan" for three weeks now and I've lost 9 pounds. Slowly but surely.

I only have one very important question. I just bought new bras. Was that a waste of money?

Conference Weekend

I love conference weekend--especially Sunday. I love staying in my jammies all day and being spiritually uplifted from my couch and/or bed. I love the music, the talks...just everything. I didn't do as good a job this time of making the boys watch. Chris watched the first part on Saturday, but then he had an audition and he never watched any more. I missed parts yesterday, but I recorded it. Now--to actually watch it. That's my Achilles heel when it comes to recording conference. It's hard to go back and watch it! It shouldn't be, but it is.



So far, President Monson's talk at the end of the Sunday morning session pierced me the most. I'm terrible at service. I will do whatever is asked of me, but I'm really bad about seeking out ways to serve. I'm a selfish person at heart and I'd rather sit on my bed playing Facebook games than get out and *do*. I loved the idea of the jar of "warm fuzzies." I may share that with our counselor at school. And I'm hoping to institute it here in our home as well. I don't think I've done a good enough job of teaching the boys about serving. I know I haven't been a good example. But I believe in the adage that it's never too late.

Elder Holland's powerful testimony of the Book of Mormon was another spell-binding talk. I just love the feelings in my heart that his words brought forth. It was an amazing weekend. I'm so glad for the technology that gives us the chance to see it live right in our own living room. I'm grateful for the Gospel and for a Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, who love me infinitely, completely and perfectly. I'm grateful for a husband who introduced me to the Gospel and a family who loves me and takes care of me when I need it. I grateful for my boys who have really stepped up this year to help out and do what needs to be done.

Conference weekend always seems to remind me: I love my life!