29 Again!

It's my birthday! I'm 29 again. Ok, not really. I'm really two score plus five. You figure it out.

Overall it was a good birthday. I started the day with a good hour or more of peace and quiet by getting up before anyone else in the house. Always a good present. Then I had an hour-long massage and an adjustment. Ahhhhh!

Then I got my hair cut. Thanks to Elisha for sending an email out about her new studio. And for having an opening this afternoon. And for taking extra "birthday time" to give me a cool new 'do. It'll never look this way again, but it was cool for a day! :-)


She straightened it out and then curled it with a flat iron. It would've been even cooler if I'd gone anywhere the rest of the day besides Kohl's. I scored big at Kohl's - long black skirt, brown sweater and purple sweater all with a gift card. Woo hoo!

Then came the disappointment - which usually seems to come on my birthday. Richard said he wanted to take me out to dinner. So I waited to open presents. I came home and he took a nap after taking some pain meds. I'm trying to be understanding, but he's been in a mood all day today except when he's been asleep. He finally woke up at 7:00. By then it had started raining and was already cold and there were wrecks and traffic all over the place. I gave up. Got into my pj's at 8:00.

At 9:00 he got up and made GF brownies, put some candles on them and they sang "Happy Birthday" and I opened my presents. I got "Apples to Apples Family," "Blokus," and a food processor that I'd forgotten to wrap for Richard for Christmas. I told him he could give it to me for my birthday - but I was really joking. Guess he took me seriously.

So...I should focus on the happy part of the day and not the disappointing part. I should remember that James wished me a happy birthday at 8:30 this morning and over 90 people have wished me a happy birthday on Facebook. The fact that no one else in the family remembered until this afternoon should not bother me.

Well, tonight it does. But I'm sure I'll be over it by tomorrow. Happy birthday to me!

Resolutions

Every year I say I'm going to read my scriptures every day, say my prayers every day, and hold FHE every week. And every year I don't follow through. Is it worth it to continue to make these promises to myself? Should I try something else this year? Or should I keep on saying I'll do it and just hope that, for once, finally, maybe I'll follow through.

I started doing better during the school year and before Richard came home for good. But with him being home, it put a kink in my overall schedule and so I didn't do it as much. I've started reading scriptures using Read the Scriptures.com. You can make a schedule for just about anything. You get a daily email with your assignment right there in the email. However, with school starting, I think I'll need to modify my schedule. There's just no way I'm going to read as much once I'm back in school.

Praying shouldn't be that difficult. I think I'm almost constantly praying, to be honest. But the get-down-on-your-knees-and-say-your-nightly-prayers part I'm just not so good at. For whatever reason, I'm still embarrassed. I don't want Richard or the boys to walk in on me. Isn't that weird? You'd think after 15+ years of being a member of the Church, I'd be past that. One of my trials, I guess.

So...this year's resolutions:
1) Back on Weight Watchers beginning Jan. 10th. (I'm not going to force anything the first week back at school.)
2) Follow through on the scriptures - even if it's only a chapter a day.
3) Remember that the "prayer in my heart" is good, but the focused prayer is important too.

Now...off to shower (finally) and take Chris to the doctor. Possible broken toe. The fun never ends around here.

Merry Christmas

Another wonderful Christmas morning come and gone! James was up at 12:30 having never gone to sleep. John was up at 2:00. They and Richard ate cereal in the middle of the night and then went back to bed.

Everyone was up about 8:00 and paper was everywhere. Stockings and presents were opened - smiles all around. By 10:30, Richard and Chris were reading new books, James was playing with his new Legos, John was playing a new video game, Larry was chewing on his Christmas rawhide and Moe was playing in the tissue paper. Oh...and I was on Facebook and happy with my presents too.

It was a really nice Christmas morning. I'll try to get around to adding pictures later. Merry Christmas!!!

Forever

I haven't posted in forever! And then, when I wanted to post, I couldn't get my background to look right. My Halloween background stayed along with the Christmas banners. Looked really funky and was driving me nuts. Hopefully I've got it fixed now. So...to update....

Richard has been off of work since November 10th. His back hurt so badly that he just couldn't function without terrorizing kids and adults alike. He's been on major painkillers that didn't do anything to help. So yesterday, he had surgery. They removed two pieces of broken disc that were pressing on the nerve. His leg already feels better. He's still in a great deal of pain from the surgery, but I'm keeping him doped up on painkillers and muscle relaxers, so he's sleeping most of it off. We went for a walk tonight - just like his doctor said to.

Chris has had a rough fall, but things are starting to get better. He's doing well in school and scored very well on both his PSAT and his SAT. He's working hard to get back to where he used to be outside of the classroom and I appreciate the growth he's showing. His dad and I are learning quite a bit too.

James is enjoying 6th grade. He's having some of the same difficulties that Chris had in middle school - turning in work, turning in work, turning in work. But he's making friends and likes to go to the dances. I have got to remember to get him a new bow over the holiday! He's been borrowing one since before Thanksgiving! Sigh.

John is still very up and down. He's struggling with his reading and is going to Saturday School to help him pass the TAKS test this year. He's doing much better with his emotions though - especially since we discovered how much he loves going to The Royal Brush. It's a ceramic-painting place and he has absolutely fallen in love with it. After the first session, he was flying high for a good five days. It was so great to see him happy! And at anywhere from $5-$25 per piece, it's cheaper than therapy. :-)

Overall, it's been a really crappy fall. But Christmas is this week and, by golly, we're going to have a good one. We're getting together at Judith's tomorrow night for the Dallas Martins get-together. Then it'll be just our family over the Christmas weekend. This is a good thing. Maybe I can get back in to blogging with the start of the new year. All I've wanted to do is slug around for most of the fall. But my hormones are back working again, I've got a new doctor and gotten my other prescriptions back going, so hopefully I'll be back to normal.

Now...if the van breaks down again...I just might have myself committed.

I Just Don't Like People Today

My hormones are all outta whack. Thank goodness for my entire family, the people I work with, the people I go to church with, pretty much anyone who comes in contact with me, I have an appointment on Monday with my "girl doctor" for my post-op appointment, annual exam and bio-identical hormone placement. I'm hoping, hoping, hoping that getting my hormones back in order will help with this depression I've been feeling of late. The Zoloft just isn't doing the job.

On the bright side, Richard is feeling better (better pain meds and some steroids have made a big difference) so he's able to take care of everyone today. At least I managed to shower. I left once to pick up James from a party. I threw some laundry in the washer, but haven't done anything else with them.

I hate it when I get this way. I was feeling so good for a good long time. I'm hoping it's the rain, the hormones, the...oh who knows. Maybe I'm just getting old. Maybe it's just something I'm going to have to deal with. For today, I'm hiding in my cave. Watching TV. Playing Facebook games. And Richard is taking care of me. I'll get back on the horse tomorrow. I'll at least make an effort tomorrow. ;-)

Crazy Weekend

In an odd way, I've actually enjoyed the weekend. Even though it's been busy, busy, busy. It began with a doctor appointment for Chris right after school yesterday. Well, after my school but had to get him out of school. Took John home, took Chris to the doctor. Got home in time to get the last bit of stuff packed up for James's 11-year-old campout Friday night. Got him to the church and off with his leader. Then home in time to take John to baseball practice. Practice was cut short so we could go home and watch the Texas Rangers in the ALCS. Go Rangers! Got home to find that Richard was already home. Yay! The game was great fun to watch until the 8th inning. Fell apart after that. Booooooo!

I still stayed up late to watch the bitter end. Then up fairly early (for a Saturday) to get John off to a 9:00 baseball game. We actually went a bit early and Richard worked with him on his batting. (Yay again!) It really helped and John had a great game. In three at-bats, he got on base twice by walks and struck out once - but he struck out swinging at a good pitch. Our team played fabulously! Some really good fielding, good hitting...it was a fun morning.

While we were at the game, Chris drove himself to his Region Orchestra auditions. After the game, I went grocery shopping while Richard napped (he is in SO much pain these days - having trouble walking.) Got home and got the groceries put away, traded out some laundry and then took Chris to his jubilee audition. Turns out it wasn't at the Allen Stake Center but got moved to the Melissa building. Only about 20 miles in the opposite direction. ARGH! But we made it and he sang "Luck Be a Lady" much to the judges' delight. It was great to spend a little one-on-one time with him.

He was auditioning for the Texas Jubilee 2011. It looks to be a wild party - Mormon youth style.

Came home to find that James was home. He had a great time. Of all my boys, I think he is the one who actually enjoys scouting. He was dirty and smelly, so that means that he had fun. :-)

It is now 8:44 pm. I have finished, including folded, four loads of laundry. I didn't make dinner because Richard has said that it would be his job on the weekends. Therefore, we had YOYO night. Sigh. I watched the Rangers win game 2. And...I haven't heard any arguing from upstairs. I may have just jinxed myself. I think it's about time I took myself to bed. But Richard just got up, so I should probably spend a little time with him too.

I sure hope tomorrow is a bit less busy. It should be - even on a Sunday. We'll see.

What. A. Month...

and then some. It's been crazy! Van issues, refinance issues, surgery (technically, out-patient "procedure,) and crazy kids. Scouts! Homework! Baseball! How did I get myself into this mess? Oh...and a kitten.

I'd probably feel better if I'd been blogging about it all along. So...

the van's engine blew up. Or blew a rod. Or something like that. Whatever. It meant that we got to replace the engine in the van that Richard was hoping to trade in. That's not going to happen now. On the positive side of that, while the van was in the shop in Midlothian, Richard's dad was nice enough to loan him his car.

We finally managed to get the refinance done on the house. The van died in the middle of the refinance, so there was some question as to whether or not we were going to be able to pull it all off. But we managed it. And hopefully soon, we'll get our escrow back so that we can get at least part of our loans paid off. But...1.5% and $150/month lower is nothing to sneeze at.

I got to have surgery - kinda. It was a hysteroscopy and a D&C. I've been menopausal for a good two years now. Suddenly a couple of weeks ago, that thing that's not supposed to happen when your menopausal started happening. Ack! Called the doc, got a sonogram, had a "thing," (I really hate the word "polyp." It just sounds so icky), had surgery to remove it and anything else. Still haven't heard back from the doctor. Guess I'll call him tomorrow.

The rest is typical family busy-ness. Like this weekend. James has a campout, John has a baseball game, and Chris has two different auditions at the same time. Yippee. Think anyone would notice if I just skipped church on Sunday to recuperate?

I really need to blog more often. Maybe over the Thanksgiving holiday. :-)

Back in the Swing of Things

We all survived the first week of school. And honestly, somewhat surprisingly, it went pretty darn smoothly.

For me - I only had about three criers in my kinder classes. Two the first day, one yesterday. Not bad. In their actual classrooms, they had a lot more so I count myself lucky. But overall, everyone was fairly well-behaved and we had a good time. We'll see what happens this week when they have to actually start learning something. ;-)

Chris - good first week. Didn't have to change any classes. He's planning to audition for the fall musical - "Guys and Dolls." :::sniff, sniff::: I'm so proud. A little surprised as that's not usually his personality - at least around his parents.

Chris did have a good laugh at me this week. He started seminary on Wednesday. Friday morning, I got up and started getting ready for the day. At 6:15 I realized I hadn't heard him, hadn't checked on him - nothing. Seminary starts at 6:00. I texted him, knowing he would have his phone on vibrate, and asked, "Please tell me ur up and gone." I got a text a few minutes later that said, "ur up and gone." BRAT!

James - also a good first week. He's figuring out where everything is in that big ole middle school. They spent the first three days doing activities ("Ready, Set, Go!") which I think could've been two days. James hated it. He began loving it on Thursday when they got to go to the normal class schedule. He's also dealing with the 4-inch binder. Again, I think 3 inches would've been sufficient. Guess we'll see.

John is loving being at Camey all by himself. Although he did mention on Thursday afternoon that he wished he had someone to play with in the room after school. So maybe he misses his brother just a little bit. :-) He's in a really good class with a really good teacher. It should be a good year.

Richard had a good first week too. He said that he's got some good kids this year so far. He's teaching all Algebra 2, which he swears gets a bit boring, but if the first week is any indication, it should be a better year for all of us.

Let's hope so!

And Here We Go...

Back to school! One of my "likes" on my Facebook page says the following, "School Day 1: School! Woo hoo!!! Day 2: Dude, when's Labor Day?" Hee hee!

I think I'm ready. My room looks awesome even if I do say so myself - and I do. (I even took pictures! And I'd post them if I could find the stupid cord for the camera.) I have my first week's lesson plans ready (except for Friday rotation day - no clue what to do there!) I'm excited about it. I'm ready to smile and be friendly and not frown so much.

Back to school is like New Year's for us. Our year runs from August-July not January-December. Such is the life of two school teachers and three students in the house. Only the dog doesn't know. But maybe he does because this is the time of year when he starts getting the house all to himself for a better part of the day.

So I think that's my New-School-Year's Resolution. Don't frown so much. Smile at everyone. Speak to everyone. Be consistent. And be quick to be consistent. There. I've said it out loud. Now I have to follow through, right? It shouldn't be too hard this week. Ask me again after Labor Day.

Last Day of No Plans

I had plans for this morning. I was going to start moving our "Weekly Home Blessing Hour" to Saturday. I was going to have the boys help with that. Well, okay...that was really the only plan I had for today.

But guess what? It's after 11:00 and I haven't done a single thing. I haven't made the bed. I haven't showered. I haven't folded the laundry. I haven't even seen my oldest child - and yes...he's up. I also haven't worked on my sharing time for tomorrow.

But...I got rid of the guilt by deciding something. 1) The day's not over. I could still accomplish something. Fold that laundry. Make some dinner. Sweep and mop the floors. (Probably not the last one.) and 2) It's the very last day this summer where I don't have a single, solitary thing that I absolutely have to do. Tomorrow is church and sharing time in primary. Monday begins the week of inservice and next Monday begins the school year.

So...I'm taking the morning and early afternoon off. And I'm not going to feel guilty about it. I'm going to enjoy it. I'll play games, watch some DVR'd shows and read a book. If you're lucky, I might even shower.

Back to School

For me at least. Yesterday I was in Denton at their new teacher orientation. My job was to try to get them to sign up for my favorite teacher association. There was a bunch of us from Camey. It made for a fun morning. Then we got a free lunch at Palio's. Totally worth it. Plus--it was a paid gig.

Today is not a paid gig. I'm doing a trade day. It's not really a trade day because I don't get these hours off later. I get to use them to work in my room next week. But the main reason I'm doing it is because today's meeting will be with live people. If I don't go today, I have to make it up next week at the normal time by watching the video of today. If "Legal Issues in the Fine Arts" isn't boring enough, can you imagine watching it on a video? Blech, blech and more blech.

This afternoon is James's 6th grade orientation. What? Huh? How did that happen? Schedules, school tour, find classes - should be fun! And scary!

But we're following it up by visiting Hawaiian Falls for the last time this year. Great way to end the summer!

A Day of Dentistry and Other Musings

Today was dentist day for four of the five of us. Richard went last week. Is this when it really hits home that school is starting? I posted on Facebook that we'd been to the dentist and gotten free Chik-Fil-A Ice Dream Cups afterward - coupons from the dentist. At least three other people commented that they were going today or tomorrow.

The positive side - no cavities or extra work for anyone. Yay!

The negative side - no extra work for anyone FOR NOW. Chris needs his wisdom teeth out. The bottom ones are turned in just like mine were at his age. I didn't get mine out soon enough and it messed up my bottom teeth after all that time in braces. Hopefully we can get Chris's done over Christmas break.

James needs braces. We'll evaluate that next month - after the new insurance cards and flex card kick in. John needs braces, but his teeth are still falling out so we'll wait another year or so for him.

I have a tooth that had a root canal years ago, but never a crown. There is now "decay" (I really don't like that word) all the way down to the root. So basically, we're just waiting until it finally becomes painful or annoying or whatever and that tooth will have to go. Oh joy. Hope it waits a few years so we can get through all the braces and wisdom teeth and stuff.

It seems that Richard was the only one who came out of this with his future unscathed.

So that was most of my morning. This afternoon has been devoted to napping/resting. Late afternoon will be devoted to meeting with the mortgage refinance guy. What. A. Hassle. Just the fact that they can't just keep your escrow intact is enough to tell me that the system is flawed. I mean really - we have to pay new escrow and then have our "old" escrow refunded in 6-8 weeks? Hmmm...who's getting the interest on that money? Certainly not me.

Aside from the hassle, it's a good move. I hope it will be worth it. If all goes as planned, it should. But we know how often that happens when it comes to home buying/refinancing.

Girl Talk

Sometimes a girl just needs to talk to another girl. About everything. About nothing. Complain. Brag. Empathize. Sympathize. Laugh. Cry. Sweat. (Ok, the sweating's not so much fun, but that's what happens when you sit in your car with the windows open at Sonic at 8:00 at night when it's still 100 degrees outside.)

But the rest was much needed and much appreciated.

Especially since today I sent my hubby back to his home-away-from-home. It's back to school time around here and he will be in Venus for another year. That's another year of single-momhood during the week. We will miss him. He will miss us. And we will be fine.

This made it the perfect night for girl talk over a Sonic Blast. Thanks, Suz!

The Last Monday

It's the last Monday of summer. Okay, not summer the season, but summer no school. I start inservice this Friday. So what am I doing with the last Monday of summer? This was my list:

Weekly Home Blessing Hour
15 minutes decluttering/cleaning the kitchen
call Dad this afternoon
call Wells Fargo
two loads of laundry

What have I done on that list? Nothing. It's 11:00 in the morning. I've been up since 4:30 (not counting the hour nap I took from 6:30-7:30) and I have done absolutely nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I'm still in my pjs. I'm still in the same chair I came to at 4:30 this morning. I'm still on the computer.

I don't want to move. I don't want to get hot and sweaty while cleaning the house. I don't want to get ready for school to start. I think I'll go read a book.

Family Reunion - Finally

The Thompsons are not known for their family reunions. We rarely all get together. We don't live near one another. We email now and then. My niece and nephews keep up a little bit on Facebook. But that's about it. We're just not close - and for the most part I think we're ok with that. It's the Thompson way.

We tried to have a reunion two years ago for Dad's 90th birthday. But Hurricane Ike completely messed that up and we never rescheduled it. While I was down during Spring Break, Betty (my sis-in-law) came up with the idea that we could have a 4th of July party out at the Bayou. And...it actually worked out! Except for Hurricane Alex which threatened, but ended up making landfall south of Brownsville. Bryan isn't sure if it's my fault or Sharon's fault that hurricanes seem to make themselves known when we're both going to be there. Or maybe it's Richard's. LOL

Anyway, following are just a few pictures from our 4th of July Family Reunion. It was a fun time and good to be together. Only two nephews were missing. That's pretty good for our family.

Kristy and Ryan

My nephew Matt, his wife Lori, their baby Calista (the newest member of the family), Rylee and my sister-in-law Betty

Rylee (Kristy's daughter) enjoying the battleaxe.

L-R: Richard, Chris, my brother Bryan, my brother-in-law Kichoon, my daddy Ralph

L-R: Bryan, Kichoon, Dad, my sister Sharon

Rylee and James - They share a name

This is what happens when you try to take a picture and someone who just can't stand to not be a part of something. Can you guess who this is?

There's a Lesson or Two Here Somewhere

We were on our way home from Texas City last week. We left really late that afternoon, so somewhere in the Conroe area, we decided to pull off for some dinner. There was a sign that said there was a Chili's off a certain exit and off we went. Then another sign said that Chili's was to the right. So we turned right. Crossed a railroad track and curved right again. That's when we saw this sign.

Seriously? Better not get lost down this road. You'll never get home again. Once we had u-turned anyway (we've never been much for following traffic laws, doncha know), Richard insisted on getting out of the car and taking a picture. At first I thought it was silly, but the more I've looked at this picture, I'm really glad he took it.

There are so many lessons here. The silliness of government at times - or at least bureaucracy. And I'm absolutely sure there are some gospel lessons in this picture. I haven't really sat and pondered them, but I know they're there. Is there really a point of no return? Where is that point? Or maybe Satan just wants you to think there's a point of no return - hence the sign. But you don't have to do what the sign says. You can u-turn anyway. Hmmm...this is going somewhere. I'm going to have to think on this some more. (Why do I have a feeling a talk or lesson is coming up in my future?)

Monday Musings

I'm better today. I've discovered over my life that I tend to want to write whenever I'm feeling down. It helps me think. It helps me vent. Mainly because there's no one in my life right now that I can really vent to just whenever I want/need to who doesn't try to fix what I'm venting about - or who isn't exactly the person I'm venting about. The problem with this is that one of these days, when my children or grandchildren go back and read my journals and/or blogs (do you think they'll still be around?), they're going to think I was nothing but a depressed, insecure harpy. I guess what I'm saying is that I need to write more on ordinary days.

We survived cub camp. John had a really great time. He likes being busy. He likes building things even though he can get frustrated and I'm no good at building things so I'm not much help. But he went the whole week without a single meltdown. That's a great thing. And he's acting so much more mature - except for right now when I hear him screaming at his video game. Figures. Maybe it's time to come read together.

Richard and James are off at scout camp. Technically, James is only 11 and "shouldn't" go until next year, but I think Richard secretly wanted to go and so - off they went. Off to Slippery Falls Ranch in Oklahoma. They had a difficult first night, but things seem to be getting better today.

I cleaned my living room today. I've gone back to Flylady and it's working. Hopefully I can get in a good routine this summer and I can keep it up during the school year. I say that every summer. Ya gotta have hope, though, doncha? My living room is clean, my bedroom is decluttered (my side anyway) and my kitchen is clean - except for the floor. I didn't mop today. Maybe tomorrow.

Chris is off with the missionaries today. Is he helping to teach a lesson? Is he driving them around to different lessons and activities? Is he visiting families with them? No. It's p-day. He took them to the library to send email. It's Elder Sevy's birthday today. After email, they're headed over to the stake center for a rousing game of Nerf Wars. Imagine. A whole district's worth of elders running around the stake center (but staying out of the chapel, of course) shooting at each other with Nerf guns. Chris's even has a laser site. And he took a Nerf sword as well. He's a boy scout - be prepared.

The problem with him doing this is that he has the car and Richard has the other one, so I'm stuck at home. Darn. Guess I'll have to read a book or something. :-) See? I can blog about happy things.

Old Insecurities Never Really Go Away

There are times when, even at age 44, the insecurity of my teen years rears its ugly head. When I think about it honestly, I realize I've always been insecure. I've covered it well. I had a few friends in elementary school, a few in middle school, and finally a rather close-knit few in high school. But try as I might, I could never really get in with those I wanted to be in with. And that hurt. I was never the cool one. Never the popular one. Never the pretty one. So...I compensated.

As a child, I compensated with laughter and jokes in public and lots of singing, dancing and piano playing for publicly and privately. I expected that my musical talent would somehow propel me into the limelight I craved so badly.

As a teenager, I compensated in much the same ways, but something new reared its ugly head - BOYS! Uh-oh. The ones I really, really liked only liked me for my cheat notes, test answers and any "availability" I might have. By high school, I had found my niche mostly - in places like choir, Thespians and newspaper/yearbook.

But still...those old insecurities stayed with me. All through college - I had a small group of friends, but I was never part of a sorority (truly didn't want to be, but that can limit who your "friends" are) or part of student government or anything like that. I had choir friends, dorm friends.

I've always felt like any friendship I have has been something that *I* have to take the lead in. If I don't call or write or email or text or whatever, my friends certainly won't call me. If I don't make the effort, no one is going to make the effort to know me or contact me or care about me.

There can often be a vast difference between truth and feelings, can't there? In my heart, I know that my current friends would move Heaven and earth to help me if I really needed something. But the insecure part of me wonders, would they really? What if they had a dinner date with their cooler friends? What if they had to choose between lunch with me or working on their "cooler" church calling?

It sounds really stupid, doesn't it? Maybe that's why I'm writing it down and putting this out there. Maybe I'm just looking for people to comment and tell me how sweet and funny and cool I am. But that would be just like those yearbook comments, wouldn't it? "You're a great friend. I'm glad I got to know you this year. Stay sweet and funny." Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

I don't know why this is bothering me these days. I just had the best. day. in. a. long. time yesterday with my "old" friend Sandy. We hadn't seen each other for eight years, but it was just like we'd never been apart. I love friends like that. So see, Stacy? You do have them.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just depressed because I had to pay bills today and I can't really afford to go to Utah and I really wanted to. Yeah, that's probably it. Or not.

The Week From...Well...You Know

I've been sick all week. Ugh. I absolutely hate being sick. I should've stayed home from school, but it's just as much work to prepare for a sub as it is to put in a movie and sit there myself.

This started at 2am Tuesday morning - stomach bug. 'Nuff said. 24 hours. I feel like I still haven't fully recovered. By mid-morning on Tuesday, my voice started going out. I was achy but no fever. No energy. Rescheduled my chiropractor appointment and took myself home that afternoon.

Wednesday - absolutely no voice. Nothing. It's been years since I've had laryngitis that bad. But at least the tummy bug was over. Still achy. Still no fever. Still no energy. But had to go to a Court of Honor for Chris. So I went and couldn't speak.

Thursday - voice was coming back. Still somewhat achy. Still no energy. But...still had to go to the chiropractor, take John to his counseling appointment. Mom's work is never done.

By Friday I knew what I had to do. I had to go to bed. And that's what I did. I assigned the boys some Friday afternoon chores so the house wouldn't look quite so atrocious when Richard came home. I got in my pj's and took to my bed. I stayed there all Friday night and all day Saturday. And my boys were great. They did everything I had put on their lists. And they did it without complaining. (Really!)

Richard came home Friday evening. We had already talked about what was to transpire this weekend. I was staying in bed. He was great about it. He cleaned the kitchen, took the boys to a movie on Saturday while I napped.

By Sunday, I was feeling better, but still not great. I considered not going to church, but then remembered it was the Seminary program and I wanted to be there for that. Well, that was inspired because Chris gave an absolutely fantastic talk - and so did the other youth. (That should probably be another blog post.) It was also inspired because my very in-tune friend asked me if I thought I needed a blessing. Uh...YEAH! There's an idea. (Why do we not take advantage of priesthood blessings like we should? Afraid of overuse maybe? I don't know.)

So I came home after sacrament and put my feet up again. Brother Mac came by later and he and Richard gave me a wonderful blessing. I felt better almost immediately. Maybe my "very in-tune friend" was right. Much of my feelings this week - the not-being-able-to-fight-this-off-well is due to the stress of the end of the year.

We still have 8 days of school. E.I.G.H.T. Everyone else in the known universe gets out this Friday. We get out next Thursday. I've given up cleaning. I've given up cooking. As long as the boys have clothes on their bodies and some type of food in their bellies, I'm good. I'm not even sure if I care if they're clean. And so my blessing was very much needed and told me exactly what I needed to hear.

My back still hurts, my head still hurts, my neck still hurts and I'm still coughing. (Yeah, I'll be chatting with my chiropractor about the first three things.) But I *feel* better. I know that I can make it now. It's going to be a good eight days. I've been promised that and I believe it.

A Good Weekend

It's going to be a good weekend. It's been a pretty good and relaxing Saturday. I still have to put together my sharing time for tomorrow. But we've all tried to just hang out and relax today.

We're trying to recover from a really busy week. Chris had his awards ceremony this week. He's in the top ten in his class again. James is just trying to get through the year. We've had so much trouble with his teacher this year. He believe that she doesn't like him and I'm beginning to believe it too. She doesn't communicate, she doesn't pay attention to what's going on in class and she doesn't enter her grades so that we can keep up with what he's missing. She also nails him for "missing" assignments that were assigned while he was in LEAP. We're talking with his LEAP teacher about that. It's just so wrong. John is in counseling again. He really enjoys going and I hope we can help him better this time.

Richard didn't come home this weekend. He has final exams next week and so he will spend the weekend making up multiple tests. Boo.

I feel like I want to write, but I feel rather disjointed in my writings. I especially want to write about James's experience this year, but I've started and deleted two posts on the subject. I just can't seem to get it all down the way I want to without feeling like I'm bouncing from point to point to point to point with no real map between them. Maybe I need to put it down in a timeline form or something. Or look back over my blog and see if I've written about it before.

See? There I go again. I guess I'm still just too angry about it to put it into written words properly.

Back to the positives: Chris taught John how to mow the back yard. I made pancakes and bacon for breakfast this morning. I've gotten some laundry done. And I've rested. And that's been the best part of the day.

Hey...since I made breakfast, doesn't that mean I don't have to make dinner?

Blessings from Trials

After my very whiny post of yesterday, I got to thinking about the blessings. There were blessings in those trials of the last week.


There were plenty of people who were willing and able to help us throughout the week. Kathy, Suzanne, Allen, Sabrina and Griff are just a few. I mean really...we could've walked to and from school, but ew! And I couldn't have walked to Chearon (not Chevron) to pick up the car. Even the tow truck driver was friendly and our insurance people called the tow people for me.

But...the biggest blessing of all is that the brakes didn't fail until *after* it was parked in the driveway. Not while I was on my way to school with the boys and most especially not while Chris was driving to or from Target Monday night.

It's so easy to get bogged down in the truly petty problems of the day. Yes, I had to spend $400 to fix the brakes on the car. But...I had $400 set aside for vacation this summer. Somehow or other we'll manage the rest. The blessings will come - and many have already. I just need to remember to focus on the blessings and the lessons - not just the problems.

That's mortality.

That's Mortality

And I don't think I like it very much right now.

Last week was Teacher Appreciation Week. We were treated to yummy-nummy lunches and breakfasts all week. It was fabulous!

Unfortunately, that was about the only thing that went right all week long.

Monday - I don't really remember it. How sad is that? I do remember that I didn't jump in and do FHE. Maybe that was the problem with the rest of the week?

Tuesday - Got in the car that morning, started it up, put my foot on the brake pedal to put it in gear and the pedal went all the way to the floor. Whoops. Everyone back out of the car. Called Kathy to see if she was at school yet. She was close, but not quite so she turned around and came to pick us up. I called the insurance people that afternoon. They called their favorite towing company who bills the insurance first. Had an extra choir practice after school. Got Allen to take John to cub scouts (and bring him home). Kathy gave us a ride home after school. Tow truck showed up and towed the car to the shop. Three boys, one parent and no car. Oh...actually two parents. Richard came home to fix the bike and ride it back so that I could have the truck. Unfortunately, the bike didn't cooperate and he had to drive the truck back.

Wednesday - no car. Had to find rides to/from school and rides for James and Chris to scouts/mutual. Thanks again to the McFarlands and Kathy. Couldn't have survived the day without y'all.

Thursday - Found out that the brake hose to the rear caliper was loose/broken/something-or-other and leaked fluid which in turn caused the master cylinder to blow. Car should be done by 4:00. At 3:00, it wasn't looking good. The hose didn't match the one from the car, so they had to get another part. It should be done by 4:30. John had an appointment in Carrollton at 5:00. I called and rescheduled John's appointment - just to lessen the stress. The repair shop and I decided to just hold off picking up the car until Friday. So...Sabrina gave the boys and me a ride home and here we were again with no car. We also had choir practice that afternoon which is always stressful.

Friday - Yay for Fridays! Boo for Tuesday rotations. Most stressful set of classes for the second time this week. Survived the day - lesson plans in, desk cleaned off, no students harmed. Griff gave us a ride out to the repair shop. Car was ready. He couldn't hear the groaning noise the van makes when you turn. Funny...I could hear it just fine by Saturday. Ugh. Anyway, came home with a car and minus about $400. Decided the week is over and so am I. Stick a fork in my forehead - I'm done.

As I started this post on Saturday, I was determined that the horrid week was over and I was going to start fresh. Well, that fell into the sludge by Saturday evening. Ran to the store last night to get milk. (We'd been out for two days.) I had the windows cracked. Pushed the buttons to roll them up. Passenger window rolled on up. Driver window - stayed there. Won't go up or down.

AAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Storms came through in the middle of the night. Richard went out in the rain and put some plastic on the window. I have no idea what it looks like yet. It's Mother's Day now and I'm not sure I want to know. But I'm probably going to have to find out before we head off to church.

I'm really beginning to hate this car. I can't be without a car this week. Cub scouts and two appointments on Tuesday, scouts/mutual on Wednesday, Sandy Lake and another appointment on Thursday (Chris also has his AP test that day), school carnival on Saturday.

I'm really, really beginning to hate this car.

Post edit: We got the window up this evening. Richard said, "Now...leave it alone and we'll trade the car in." Yeah...we'll see.

Better

I wrote a depressing post yesterday. I try not to do that. I actually have a private blog and a handwritten journal for my most private, depressing thoughts. But yesterday, for whatever reason, I wrote it here.

Things are better today. I was reading a really great blog today, Andrea Merriman: The Unexpected Life, and I was reminded that when the trials come - well, we just need to press on. I was reminded of that at Stake Conference today as well. We cannot choose many of the things that happen. We cannot choose how others decide to respond or how their actions may impact us. But we *can* choose how we respond.

So...when Richard's switch flips as it did yesterday and he chooses to take himself out of commission for the whole day in order to spare us his anger and wrath and basic insanity, how am I going to respond? Was his response a good thing? Maybe. Maybe not. It was probably better than him blowing up all over a bunch of people who did nothing to deserve it. I hate that the switch flipped at all and wish we knew what caused it.

But...how did I respond? I was supportive (I thought) as he told me about being so angry. I tried really, really, really hard not to show my frustration to the boys throughout the day as Richard slept and I shopped and harvested my crops and made dinner and cooked meals for my Cafe and did Richard's laundry. (That last one right there should nominate me for sainthood.) I tried my very best not to be passive/aggressive.

By this morning, Richard was feeling much better. And he was understanding that it might take me a little bit to recover as well; that I can't just jump back into everything's-hunky-dory-again. I must say that he could be doing a bit more to help the process along (chocolate, anyone?), but he did make a really yummy breakfast this morning.

So...it's a new day. We had a wonderful stake conference meeting today. Inspired talks and a simply fabulous primary choir. I love hearing children sing. James and John were part of it. Chris went to the broadcast at our ward building while the younger boys and I went with friends to the stake center. We had to be there extra early for choir rehearsal, so we got good cushy seats. First time in forever I've sat in the good seats for stake conference! Yay! Richard stayed home and worked on his motorcycle. That bothers me a bit, but again...I can't choose his actions.

I can, however, choose my response. Today I will choose to smile, give him a hug, tell him what he missed, and go harvest my crops. ;-)

It was 17 Years Ago Today...

that Richard and I got married. I would love to write a blog about how wonderful he is. How amazing he is. What a great husband and father he is. How he is my best friend. And I really want to write that blog today.

But I can't.

Because he's grumpy today. He's bitter today. He's very, very, very tense today. And because I'm ticked at him today. Maybe tomorrow I can write about how wonderful he is.

Because he is wonderful. Just not today. Rats.

Silence in the House

What an amazing afternoon! James is at his friend's house. John is at his friend's house. Richard is at school. Chris is at Solo & Ensemble. It's just me and the dog on a Saturday afternoon. And the dog is napping. So it's quiet and that gives me time to think. Ponder. Wander around mentally.

I watched "Julie & Julia" this morning. It totally sucked me in from the beginning. I was expecting to half-watch/half-play computer games. Nope. Really neat movie.

I'm having issues with James's teacher again. I'll have to write a whole post about it at some point, but if I do it now, it'll just get me all angry again and I'm trying to enjoy my afternoon of quiet. This is what folks in the business call "a tease." ;-)

There are 8 weeks of school left - not that I'm counting. And only 5 more rehearsals before the choir goes to Sandy Lake. I think we're in trouble with that one. It's just been a really rotten year educationally. I have *not* enjoyed my job this year. I'm hoping it's a one-year thing and it'll be better next year, but for now I'm just riding it out.

My laptop battery now lasts for about 10-20 minutes tops. Seriously. What's the point of a laptop? Oh yeah...I can sit anywhere I want as long as there's an outlet nearby.

Ah...Chris is home. Hope he did well on his duet. It'll still be quiet in the house.

This is what I see every time I start the car. I have had the car serviced many times, but for some reason no one can figure out how to reset this component. And now...thanks to Suzanne...it won't bother me nearly as much. She figured something out when she saw this.

It doesn't say, "Service required." It doesn't say, "Service due." It says, "Perform service." So, we could liken that to our own lives. Every time I get in the car, now I have a reminder to perform service. Not on the van, but for others. It might also say, "Give service." It's a nice little reminder to me each day, multiple times a day, that I need to remember to give service. I need to be in tune with the Holy Ghost and follow the promptings to "perform service." It doesn't have to be big, grandiose actions. It can be something as simple as sending an email or paying closer attention to someone when they speak or making their favorite meal just because.

Perform service. I can do that.

Spring Break - Ahhh!

Remember last week when I quit? Well, I quit again. But this time I did it the right way. And technically, it's Facebook's fault.

This past Saturday, I was reading everyone's status about how they're going here and going there. And we weren't going anywhere. I wasn't really feeling the "spring break love." I had thought we would spend the days spring cleaning and having fun. Do one room a day and then reward ourselves with some kind of day trip or fun activity. But I really didn't know what.

But on Saturday, that just didn't seem like a happy prospect. I was depressed. All I wanted to do was sit on my butt and play Facebook games. Then I got the idea. I'd kind of had the idea the day before, but it was just a fantasy at the time.

I found Richard reading a book in the bedroom. I interrupted him. (Why does he think he can read uninterrupted at home with four other people in the house like he can at the hangar? But that's another post....) I said, "How would you feel if I packed a bag and took off for Texas City?" He stared at me for a couple of seconds and said, "Go for it." Really?!? Yep. You deserve it, he says.

That was at 10 am. I hadn't showered or anything yet. Or maybe I had - I forget. Anyway, I still had to take James to a birthday party, so here's how the rest of the morning went. Sent Chris with James to the store for a present. Booked a hotel. Showered. (Oh yeah...guess I hadn't showered yet.) Got Richard to wrap the present. Took James to the party. Stayed and talked about school/teacher issues with the birthday boy's mom. Hugged James while no one was looking, went to the gas station and the bank then home. Packed and was out the door by 2:00. Not a bad four hours.

But the real fun is in what it did for my mood. As soon as I'd made the decision and confirmed that I could go - it was like the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. I had energy! I was smiling! I was bouncy again! Wow!

I love my family - really I do. But I've been a really terrible mom lately. I'm just tired and it's all been too much. Not enough break and too much everything else. School's been tough, we're having some issues with one of the boys' teachers and I feel like I haven't been very helpful from my end. I get done with school and all I want to do is sit on my butt and play Facebook games. (Like how I tied the beginning into the end of this post? Pretty cool, huh?)

It's now Monday and I'm sitting in my hotel - on my butt playing Facebook games. But it's okay because I don't really have anything else that I have to do. And it's quiet and no one will bother me. It's rejuvenating. Plus - I've spent the last two days visiting with my daddy. And today, I'll be calling my niece and going out to visit her and her two kids. Maybe even see my brother and his family or my nephew and his wife and brand new baby. Dad's at work this morning anyway so I'm not ditching him.

The only thing that could make this day better would be if the sun would break through the clouds - literally. I'm feeling the sunshine again myself. I'm coming back into me. And it is completely and totally worth the price of a hotel. :-)

I Quit Yesterday

I did. I just quit. I announced it on Facebook, so you know it was true. I didn't quit my job. I quit life. Done. No more mom. No more maid. No more. Q. U. I. T.

Here's why:

I had a meeting to go to at 4:30. At 3:45 I left school to take the boys home. The boys had an assignment. Pick up every single piece of clothing that is on the floor of the game room, on the floor of their own room, on the floor of the bathroom, on the pool table, on the window seat, on the desk, on the dresser - every single piece of clothing. Separate the whites out and bring them downstairs so I can throw them in the laundry. "Can we get a snack first?" No.

I walked in the house and wrinkled my nose. Something smelled, but I couldn't quite tell what. Suddenly I heard, "EWWWWWWWWW! THERE'S SOMETHING BROWN AND GROSS ON THE STAIRS! YUCK!"

Apparently, Larry had some tummy troubles. He had diarrhea. He couldn't get outside. He doesn't know how to use a toilet. He used the stairs. Two different stairs. I didn't take a picture.

So in the 30 minutes I have between dropping off the boys and going to my meeting, I cleaned up a massive amount of dog poo. I threw away the clean-up towel. And...lots of Febreze because I didn't have time to actually CLEAN the carpet. I also got the whites in the washing machine.

Went to my meeting - which lasted an hour and a half but also included good food. It was worth it. During my meeting I got two phone calls. First from John.

"I have two questions. One - James wants to know if he can have a muffin. Two - I want to know if I can have my last piece of cake." Yes to both - now don't bug me unless there's blood or fire.

Second phone call from Chris. "I'm done at school. Can you come pick me up?" What? You stayed at school until nearly 6:00? Huh. Guess it's a good thing I know where my kids are at any given time, huh?

Left the meeting, picked up Chris, dropped him off at home and went grocery shopping. Got home about 7:30. Put away the groceries, used some Resolve on the carpet stains (who knows if it worked or not?), plunged a toilet (AGAIN), put the whites in the dryer and the BOATLOAD of towels I found in the upstairs bathroom into the washer. Helped a child with homework that he didn't do when he was supposed to.

Got snacks for children, said prayers and sent them off to bed. Then...collapsed.

I QUIT!

Random Pics

This is a friendship basket. The teacher who gave it to me knows that I'm on a diet and so there's very little food in it - some chocolate-covered raisins and a small box of 100 calorie popcorn. Oh...and a Diet Coke. :-) But the rest is memo pads and a great little book I'll have to blog about separately one day.

This is the pile of dirt and fur that was on my floor after a week of snow and the mud that followed. This is what Larry brings into the house.

This is the pile after one, repeat ONE short romp in the backyard. Seriously, I wonder what it would cost to concrete the entire back yard this spring.

And finally, my absolute favorite picture from the Olympics. I actually paused the TV and took a picture of it. The guy (luge) was putting on his helmet. He's the only one that I saw who crossed his eyes in order to fix the face cover-thingy. We laughed and laughed. Those crazy Germans!

So what have you been doing through February?

Yet Another Busy Day of Rest

I was so excited to have 1:00 church. Sleeping in, relaxing with the scriptures (or, more honestly, Facebook) while listening to BYU radio.

The problem is that I don't want it to end. I get caught up in reading Mormon mommy blogs or yes, Facebooking (again...when did that become a verb?), and I don't want to get moving into the shower or shout at the boys to start getting ready for church and hearing their joyous cries of, "Yes! Church!!!" (I girl can dream, can't she? For that matter, it's the same problem with the biggest boy of all.)

But today is particularly difficult. It's raining. Pouring, in fact. A hard, spring-type rain with thunder rattling and clouds darkening the house like it's night time. Ahhhh....I love these kinds of mornings. And I'd really rather just stay in my pj's, snuggle under a blanket and read uplifting blogs and scriptures all morning. Really.

Then again, I shouldn't complain too much. I did get to do that for a good portion of the morning. But now it's pushing 10:00 and I should really get in the shower and get my portion of the getting-ready-for-church thing finished so that I can scream at help the children (again, including the biggest child) get moving and dressed and fed and all of those silly things that I'm apparently supposed to do as the mom of the house.

And why is it a "busy day of rest?" Because I've been asked to sub for the organist in sacrament meeting, Chris will have a BYC meeting after (or is it before?) church (I'd better find out about that), the choir is singing in sacrament meeting, we have choir practice immediately after church, and I'm in charge of sharing time.

WHOOPS! That's what I haven't done yet this weekend. Guess I should stop blogging now and get my sharing time done. I'm so thankful for 1:00 church!

Valentine's Day

How Richard sabotaged me:

Hershey's Pot O' Gold

Big ole honkin' marshmallow thing

My absolute favorite that I cannot resist in any form or fashion.

Also...a quarter of a cheesecake - four slices of differing flavors - raspberry, chocolate, plain and something else I can't remember anymore. I didn't get a picture of it. I ate it instead.

How I know my husband loves me unconditionally:

More Snow!

I just love the look of snow on the bare trees.

Good wet snow - perfect for snowballs and snowmen.

After running around in the snow, what better to do that put those pajama pants back on and sit near the fire reading a book or playing a video game. The perfect snow day!

The Things We Learn

I have learned that I spend way too much time on Facebook. But...I've also learned that there are some really positive things that come from Facebook. Especially positive in the last week have been the helpful posts and comments from friends - both IRL friends and online friends.
First, our garage door broke two weeks ago.

One evening while the boys and I were just hanging out (truthfully, I was probably hanging out on Facebook which goes along with the first sentence of this post) when we heard an awful crashing noise from the garage. The boys and I went out there. We looked and looked and looked but couldn't find anything that looked like it had fallen and made that horrible sound. It didn't make sense, but then again there's so much stuff out there that something could have fallen and I might not have figured out what and where. So we dismissed it, came back inside and continued with our normal routine.

The next morning I pushed the garage door opener button as we were leaving for school. :::kerchunk::: It started to open and stopped. Would go no further. I walked over to the door to inspect it and discovered what had made the horrid noise the night before. Both guide wires on the sides of the door had snapped. The single spring had busted. Not broken--busted. Right in the middle. This was the one and only time all winter when I was grateful that there is not enough room in the garage for my car.

I posted my dilemma on Facebook. "Anyone know of a reputable garage door repair place that won't charge me an arm and a leg?" Three different local, IRL friends (one who actually moved out of state last month) suggested this business.

I happened to be taking Tuesday off for a dentist appointment anyway. I called the number and spoke to Randy. He was at my house that afternoon and finished before I had to pick up the boys from school. He was polite and fair and didn't charge me an arm and a leg, especially considering all the work he did. He replaced the spring with a dual spring, replaced the wheels that run on the side, did a free tuneup and lube and even checked my non-working door opener remote. (It's not us; it's the remote. That's a relief!) It wasn't until after he left that I took a good look at his business card and realized that he's the father of one of my students at school. Cool! And...you can hardly hear my garage door open. Ahhhhhh!

Then there's Larry. You know Larry. That crazy dog of ours. It's been raining for weeks now. Off and on, but at least a couple days each week. I know it's winter, but really? I really need some sunshine. I digress.

Because of the rain, the back yard is a mud pit. In reality, the back yard is a mud pit because Larry has dug up half the yard. As my status one day this last week (during a heavy rain period) I contemplated the practicality of concreting the entire back yard except for one small corner where Larry could "do his business."

I had many people tell me that they felt my pain and many others say that this is the exact reason they got rid of their carpet. We don't have much carpet, but it's enough. The problem, though, isn't that Larry gets muddy feet. The problem is that he hates having them cleaned. He kicks and gnaws and bites and chews and rolls around - getting mud all over the cleaner's arms, legs and clothes.

One person gave me a fantastic idea. She said to give him a treat each time he lets me touch his paws. I decided to give it a try. I pulled the treats out - boy could he smell 'em! - and said, "Paw." When he would try to fight, I'd stop and say no, then ask for his paw again. Got one paw cleaned and gave him a treat. Oh joy!!!

Got another paw cleaned and gave him another treat. Bliss!!!

I was actually able to clean his two back feet with no trouble before giving him a treat. That was the first time. It has been three days. We can clean all of his feet for one treat now. Thank you, KelliSue!!! I couldn't have done it without you. And Larry thanks you too!

A Rainy Saturday Afternoon

What is it about rainy Saturday afternoons that make it impossible to get up and get anything done? I managed to clean this morning. Got the kitchen cleaned up and vacuumed most of the downstairs including moving the couch, loveseat and chair in the family room and vacuuming behind them. Started dusting that room, but I put it down when the ATT guy came to fix/replace the DVR box. I haven't picked it up the duster again. It's still sitting in the family room.

Now Richard's on the couch watching a movie, so I don't feel like I can go out there and interrupt that. He deserves a little quiet time. So...I'm on the computer playing games and Facebooking. (When did that become a verb?)

Oh I *could* work on my sharing time lesson for tomorrow. Or my lesson plans for next week. Or the monthly bills and budget.

But it's raining and I just can't seem to move that direction. I mean...my primary book is all the way across the room. So are my lesson plan materials. And the bills are in a completely different room from where I currently sit.

It would take...effort.

It would take...desire.

Eh. I think I'll go back to Facebook and work on my farm. It's much more immediately rewarding and I don't have to move much.

Zzzzzzz..........

Overheard

All within the space of 5 minutes before 8:30 am on New Year's Day.

John, from upstairs: "Stop breathing on me!"

Then...

Richard, calling upstairs: "James, are you being a pest?"
James: "Yes."

Richard (to James): "Go brush your teeth."
John: "Yeah...brush 'em good!"

Gotta love it!

Happy New Year!!!