This is what I see every time I start the car. I have had the car serviced many times, but for some reason no one can figure out how to reset this component. And now...thanks to Suzanne...it won't bother me nearly as much. She figured something out when she saw this.

It doesn't say, "Service required." It doesn't say, "Service due." It says, "Perform service." So, we could liken that to our own lives. Every time I get in the car, now I have a reminder to perform service. Not on the van, but for others. It might also say, "Give service." It's a nice little reminder to me each day, multiple times a day, that I need to remember to give service. I need to be in tune with the Holy Ghost and follow the promptings to "perform service." It doesn't have to be big, grandiose actions. It can be something as simple as sending an email or paying closer attention to someone when they speak or making their favorite meal just because.

Perform service. I can do that.

Spring Break - Ahhh!

Remember last week when I quit? Well, I quit again. But this time I did it the right way. And technically, it's Facebook's fault.

This past Saturday, I was reading everyone's status about how they're going here and going there. And we weren't going anywhere. I wasn't really feeling the "spring break love." I had thought we would spend the days spring cleaning and having fun. Do one room a day and then reward ourselves with some kind of day trip or fun activity. But I really didn't know what.

But on Saturday, that just didn't seem like a happy prospect. I was depressed. All I wanted to do was sit on my butt and play Facebook games. Then I got the idea. I'd kind of had the idea the day before, but it was just a fantasy at the time.

I found Richard reading a book in the bedroom. I interrupted him. (Why does he think he can read uninterrupted at home with four other people in the house like he can at the hangar? But that's another post....) I said, "How would you feel if I packed a bag and took off for Texas City?" He stared at me for a couple of seconds and said, "Go for it." Really?!? Yep. You deserve it, he says.

That was at 10 am. I hadn't showered or anything yet. Or maybe I had - I forget. Anyway, I still had to take James to a birthday party, so here's how the rest of the morning went. Sent Chris with James to the store for a present. Booked a hotel. Showered. (Oh yeah...guess I hadn't showered yet.) Got Richard to wrap the present. Took James to the party. Stayed and talked about school/teacher issues with the birthday boy's mom. Hugged James while no one was looking, went to the gas station and the bank then home. Packed and was out the door by 2:00. Not a bad four hours.

But the real fun is in what it did for my mood. As soon as I'd made the decision and confirmed that I could go - it was like the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. I had energy! I was smiling! I was bouncy again! Wow!

I love my family - really I do. But I've been a really terrible mom lately. I'm just tired and it's all been too much. Not enough break and too much everything else. School's been tough, we're having some issues with one of the boys' teachers and I feel like I haven't been very helpful from my end. I get done with school and all I want to do is sit on my butt and play Facebook games. (Like how I tied the beginning into the end of this post? Pretty cool, huh?)

It's now Monday and I'm sitting in my hotel - on my butt playing Facebook games. But it's okay because I don't really have anything else that I have to do. And it's quiet and no one will bother me. It's rejuvenating. Plus - I've spent the last two days visiting with my daddy. And today, I'll be calling my niece and going out to visit her and her two kids. Maybe even see my brother and his family or my nephew and his wife and brand new baby. Dad's at work this morning anyway so I'm not ditching him.

The only thing that could make this day better would be if the sun would break through the clouds - literally. I'm feeling the sunshine again myself. I'm coming back into me. And it is completely and totally worth the price of a hotel. :-)

I Quit Yesterday

I did. I just quit. I announced it on Facebook, so you know it was true. I didn't quit my job. I quit life. Done. No more mom. No more maid. No more. Q. U. I. T.

Here's why:

I had a meeting to go to at 4:30. At 3:45 I left school to take the boys home. The boys had an assignment. Pick up every single piece of clothing that is on the floor of the game room, on the floor of their own room, on the floor of the bathroom, on the pool table, on the window seat, on the desk, on the dresser - every single piece of clothing. Separate the whites out and bring them downstairs so I can throw them in the laundry. "Can we get a snack first?" No.

I walked in the house and wrinkled my nose. Something smelled, but I couldn't quite tell what. Suddenly I heard, "EWWWWWWWWW! THERE'S SOMETHING BROWN AND GROSS ON THE STAIRS! YUCK!"

Apparently, Larry had some tummy troubles. He had diarrhea. He couldn't get outside. He doesn't know how to use a toilet. He used the stairs. Two different stairs. I didn't take a picture.

So in the 30 minutes I have between dropping off the boys and going to my meeting, I cleaned up a massive amount of dog poo. I threw away the clean-up towel. And...lots of Febreze because I didn't have time to actually CLEAN the carpet. I also got the whites in the washing machine.

Went to my meeting - which lasted an hour and a half but also included good food. It was worth it. During my meeting I got two phone calls. First from John.

"I have two questions. One - James wants to know if he can have a muffin. Two - I want to know if I can have my last piece of cake." Yes to both - now don't bug me unless there's blood or fire.

Second phone call from Chris. "I'm done at school. Can you come pick me up?" What? You stayed at school until nearly 6:00? Huh. Guess it's a good thing I know where my kids are at any given time, huh?

Left the meeting, picked up Chris, dropped him off at home and went grocery shopping. Got home about 7:30. Put away the groceries, used some Resolve on the carpet stains (who knows if it worked or not?), plunged a toilet (AGAIN), put the whites in the dryer and the BOATLOAD of towels I found in the upstairs bathroom into the washer. Helped a child with homework that he didn't do when he was supposed to.

Got snacks for children, said prayers and sent them off to bed. Then...collapsed.

I QUIT!