Out With the Old, In With the New

It really has been a year of ups and downs. Lots of changes this year--especially the last part of the year.

The new: new job for Richard, new driver's license for Chris, new freedoms for James and John, completely new family dynamic because of Richard's new job, new calling for me

The old: I'm still at Camey, same house, same ward, many of the same problems and issues, same medical problems for Richard.

For the first time in a long time, I've really thought about a resolution this year. A friend of mine was telling me about a book she gave her mother for Christmas.
My friend said that, from the part she read, she realized that she needed to quit worrying so much about her weaknesses and focus more on her strengths. That really spoke to me. With all the changes we've had this year--and with Richard being gone so much--I've had more of a chance to step up and I've often felt as though I've let everyone down. Like I haven't stepped up the way I could or should.

But by golly, there are a lot of things I *have* done right. We've held Family Home Evening more often this year than in years past. We've had morning and evening family prayers on a much more consistent basis. I may not cook "complete" meals, but I'm cooking more often than I used to. And...I've lost about 15 pounds.

So...my resolution this year is to focus on my strengths. I am a daughter of God. I'm strong. I'm a good teacher and a good mother. (And I'm a really, really good musician--if I do say so myself.) I don't say any of this with "pride." But I know myself well enough to know that it's very easy for me to get down on myself - to feel as if I'm not doing enough, not being enough, not...enough.

We're going to ring in 2010 (has it *really* been 10 years since Y2K?) with a movie and some Martinelli's while Chris rings it in with a dance and an after-midnight breakfast. And tomorrow we're going to get Christmas put away and enjoy the feel of an "empty" house. And I'm going to be positive about it all.

Watch this. School starts back on Monday. Yay! (How was that?)

It Happened! It Really Happened!!!

We really DID have a white Christmas!

Christmas morning
Christmas morning--glad we weren't going anywhere.

Christmas Eve - it was just starting to stick

The boys had a fabulous time playing in the snow. They came wet and cold, changed clothes by the fireplace and settled in with some hot chocolate. Is there a better way to spend Christmas Eve?

And look at the blowing snow! I haven't seen snow fly like that since we left Utah. It was a beautiful holiday. Cold, windy, and snowy on Christmas Eve. Cold, sunny and snowy on Christmas Day. Just perfect. And James and John could still get out and ride their new scooters.

Merry Christmas to all!

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas Eve

It's been the perfect week of Christmas! Up until today, it was unseasonably warm and dry. 73 degrees yesterday! Perfect for last-minute shopping (the only kind I seem to do) and taking boys out to the park.

Cold front came through this morning. Woke up to a cold rain, blustery wind and temperatures steadily dropping--currently 35 degrees. It's even snowing--and they say it'll start sticking later today. We'll see. But it's pretty anyway. Perfect for baking more cookies and wrapping the last of the presents!

We were invited to a traditional Christmas Eve breakfast/brunch at IHOP this morning. Great way to start the day! Now...Richard's napping, I'm waiting on the last batch of cookies to be done and the boys have been playing Monopoly--quite nicely together. I think they know Santa's watching. :-)

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

Christmas Is Coming...

...the goose is getting fat.

I do this to myself every year. I promise that I'm going to plan ahead. And then...it's two days before Christmas and I'm still trying to get last-minute gifts. This year the problem is Richard. Last year he knew what he wanted and he bought it for himself. This year? Not so much. I thought about getting him a Blu-Ray player, but since he's only home on the weekends, that seems like it's less a gift for him than for us.

He always needs clothes and he's in desperate need of jeans, so there's that. I thought about getting him an iPod--and I may still do that. Then he could put all of the music that's on his phone onto the iPod and maybe I'd even sign him up for the Church podcasts.

See? This is why I blog. Because as I write, I figure out what to do. Yeah. I think that's what I'll do. The iPod it is. Now...to brave all the other last-minute crazies out there and go get it. Best Buy...here I come!

Saturday Morning Wakeup Call

It was seven o'clock on a cold Saturday morning. I woke up to music. At first I thought I'd forgotten to turn off my alarm. But as wakefulness came on better, I realized it sounded like a music box. These were my thoughts in order: Music box? That's "Silent Night." James is playing with one of the Christmas music boxes. Wait--James isn't here. Oh great, the dog got one of the music boxes and chewed on it.

Richard woke up, looked at me and then got out of bed. I heard him walking around a bit. He came back in a minute and told me that it was the three angels on the mantle. No one else is up. Too high for Larry. But it was playing away at a verrrrrry slow tempo. You know how music boxes sound when they're just. about. to. wind. down. But it kept going. At that tempo.

This particular music box belonged to my grandmother (Nan-Nan). I have no idea why it was playing. I laid in bed for a bit. It kept going. I told Richard, "I guess I'm supposed to get up." So I went into the den with the music box. I looked at it for a few seconds. It kept playing. I sat down on the couch and listened--trying to figure out what Nan-Nan was trying to tell me. Nan-Nan was well-known for her "portents of things to come." She told of waking up in the middle of the night once just knowing that something bad had happened--a really horrible feeling. She found out the next day that my dad's parents had been in a really bad car accident that night.

So I sat on the couch, listening to the music and still trying to figure out what I was supposed to know. I thought about Dad. It's Saturday so he's not supposed to go to work. If anything was wrong, there wouldn't be anyone expecting him anywhere. Richard came out about then, and I said to him, "I need to call my dad."

The music stopped.

Richard and I looked at each other. "I need to call my dad NOW."

Called Dad. He's just fine. Sitting in his chair reading his paper. I told him why I called. I didn't want to scare him, but I knew he would wonder why I would call him at 7:30 on a Saturday morning. We had a nice little conversation. Let him know we got the boys cards, talked about what we're doing this week and school being out and all that stuff. I told him to be careful today.

Then I made Richard call his parents. They're fine too. His mom said that maybe it Nan-Nan just saying, "Merry Christmas." Which reminded me of the time she showed up at our house about 7:00 on Christmas morning--banging on the windows and doors as she walked up the driveway calling out, "Merry Christmas!" She did *not* make any friends that morning. But I smile now.

So maybe that's all it was. Maybe it was her way of saying thank you for getting her sealed to her family last month. Or maybe it was just a temperature change. But no...I don't think it was just a temperature change. Believe me...I'll be thinking of Nan-Nan all day today.

The Thanksgiving Feast

A marvelous Thanksgiving was had by all. And I don't think I saw a single camera! We forgot ours and were already running a tad bit late, so I wasn't going to go back for it. So you'll just have to endure my descriptions.

We drove to Richard's parents' home for the day. Yes, the same home where Richard is living during the week. The one week he didn't need to drive down--and we drove down anyway. :-)

Just about everyone in the Martin family was there. We were there with our three boys. Judith and Randy - no kids (they're all over the world at the moment). Tim and Theresa were there with their two boys--probably the first time we've seen them in 3-5 years. I'm not sure we've seen them since we moved back to Texas. Their boys are so grown-up! Suzanna and Jeff with their six kids, Shelly and Joe with their four kids and Kimbra with her three girls (Matt was working).

It was a beautiful day--sunny and not too cold--so the kids were able to run around outside. They played on the go-kart a lot. 5-year-old Seth (Suzy's son) pushed 10-year-old Hannah (his sister) into the pool. So Caleb pushed Seth in - fair's fair, doncha know. By the time it was all said and done, four of the six Davidson kids were in the pool. They. are. nuts.

John took a tumble off the go-kart. Technically, it was off the scooter behind the go-kart. They hit a bump and he went sliding across the road. Scraped up his elbow pretty bad, but he was pretty brave about it. I took a picture with my phone, but since we don't have any "internet" on our cell phones these days, I can't do anything with it. Richard took a picture with his dad's camera. Maybe we'll be able to get a copy one of these days.

I think all of the adult children and spouses were pleasantly surprised at what a nice time we all had. The kids were able to play, we were able to visit and watch the football game. Some napped, of course. The food was yummy. We brought GF dressing (Mom's recipe) and GF sweet potato casserole (again, Mom's recipe). We also brought three pies. Richard made all the food again this year. He always does such a good job.

I think the best part of the day was the good memories that were made. The boys had a really good time, injuries notwithstanding, and they have been talking about it ever since. That right there is the most important part.

And now...it's time to get ready for Christmas.

Old Insecurities

It's amazing to me how the old insecurites of childhood and adolescent-hood can suddenly and without warning rear their ugly heads. I find myself fighting off the green-eyed monster, as my mother used to call him. I go to someone's home to help with something--something I am really, really good at btw--and leave feeling inadequate. I read friends' blogs and am jealous of the fun and frolic that they and their families seem to be having.

For some reason that I've never delved into, I've always felt that I was somehow lacking. Not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not clever enough. Not sexy enough. Not talented enough. Not enough. This is probably why I made the choices I made as a teen and young adult.

I want to get up and go and do the fun things that I see other families doing. I want to take the boys and play. I want to take the boys and learn. But I don't. It often seems to be a trial when I do. There's whining. There's arguing. There are bad feelings and hurt feelings and silence. And that's just from the adults! I've learned the art of avoidance. It's easier to avoid those things that will most likely cause contention and chaos and hurt feelings.

And so...I sit at home. We all sit at home. Doing nothing. Making no memories. Building no bonds. Just hanging out. Fretting over what the HUGE family get-together will be like on Thursday and how embarrassed I'm likely to be by the time we leave.

I will plan something for tomorrow. If we can't do our temple sealings tomorrow, I will take myself to a movie, take James to Zaxby's for his free kids meal, schedule the sealings for Friday (assuming the temple is open) and maybe even tackle the pumpkin cheesecake recipe that I want to try. And if no other adult wants to participate, I'll do it myself.

Will someone please help me to follow through?

A Time of Thanks

I had such a revelation this week at school. And it wasn't a good revelation. It was a sad one.

The first thing I realized was that most of my students don't know those traditional songs we grew up learning and knowing. Thanksgiving-wise, they've never heard of "We Gather Together," or "Come, Ye Thankful People, Come," or even "Over the River and Through the Wood!" What in the world?!? How can they not know these songs?!?

And then I realize...oh...I'm the music teacher. Hmmm...I guess it's MY job to teach them these songs. Did I learn them at school? Maybe. Church? Probably. Both? Most definitely.

So this week, we learned "Over the River and Through the Wood." No worries about teaching religion or anything like that. One second grader informed me, in a very knowledgable tone that spoke of great stupidity on his teacher's part, "That can't be a Thanksgiving song. There's a lot of snow and it doesn't snow on Thanksgiving." DUH! Oh, you poor Texas boy.

I asked the children to think of at least one thing they are thankful for. I didn't want to know what it was--just think of it in their heads. Then I asked them to raise their hands if they'd thought of at least one thing. In every. single. class. there was at least one child who didn't raise his/her hand. I would ask them, "You can't think of even one thing to be thankful for?" A (usually) sad shake of the head.

So I tried to give them ideas. The first time this happened, I asked, "Did you have breakfast this morning?" The answer, "No." OOPS! I switched to, "Did you have lunch today?" because they *all* eat lunch one way or another. Or, "Do you have clothes to wear? Can you be thankful for those things?" Trying to show them that they don't have to have huge houses or fancy cars or whatever in order to have things to be thankful for. I tried to stay away from family stuff because you just never know what's going on in their homes. And frankly, I don't want to know. I'd rather live in my happy little world where children are loved and disciplined appropriately.

I don't know why I was so surprised that so many children didn't know how to be thankful for the small things. Our society puts such a premium on the big things. Houses, cars, money, money, money, video games (the best and newest of course). I like all of those things. But what am I truly thankful for?

*A Heavenly Father who watches over me. Who loves me no matter how many mistakes I make. Who sent his Son to atone for me so that I could return to live with Him.

*A husband who works hard to provide for us--even if it means being away from us. No matter how many times things don't work out, he keeps pushing forward and trying.

*Three boys who are the light of my life. They are such complete individuals that it's hard to lump them all together. Chris is a rock--steady and strong. He reminds me a lot of my dad. James is everyone's friend. He wears his heart on his sleeve and wants anyone and everyone to be happy. John is a puzzle. He bounces from happy to sad to mad at the drop of a hat, but he's creative and funny and artistic.

*I'm even thankful for our dog who tracks in mud all the day long, hates having his feet cleaned and now insists on sleeping on my bed. But he's sweet and loving and he barks when people walk by--which is not a bad thing actually.

*I'm thankful for my job. It allows me to be home when the boys are home. I love working with the children--even when they frustrate me or anger me or sadden me. It's fun to watch them catch on to a concept they've been struggling with or just to enjoy the music.

*I'm thankful for parents who were and are great examples to me. I'm thankful that my dad is 91 years young and still healthy both mentally and physically.

*I'm especially thankful for a week off of school. The break is so needed by everyone--students and teachers alike--and it gives us a week to spend with Richard.

There's something uplifting about writing out all of the blessings in my life. It helps me to focus on those blessings instead of all that's wrong or annoying or whatever. This week I'm going to try to do that. Focus on the blessings--even the smallest ones. Sometimes the smallest ones are the greatest.

Here We Go Again...

All that change that I thought was happening? All that positive energy? All that "new adventure" idea? Not so much. Ugh. Right back to the same ole, same ole.

:::deep breath::: :::long prayer::: :::get moving on the day:::

Personal Revelation

It's Stake Conference weekend. I have to admit - in years past Stake Conference has been "take Sunday off" weekend. But this year is different. Firstly, our ward was asked to participate in the choir. Secondly, our choir director and my good friend threw me under the bus and told the stake person that I could play the organ for our session. So...I don't really have a choice.

However, I think that these things happened in order to put me in the right frame of mind for going. I can't *not* go. I have jobs to do and so I have to be there. It's not something I can talk myself out of doing. And I'm really good at talking myself out of doing things that require any kind of personal sacrifice.

Last night was the adult session. We were warned early on that the adult session was taking place on Halloween night. The leadership realized that this would mean changing some plans for many of us and making some sacrifices. We had it a bit easier since we have an almost 16 yo who can take the younger boys trick-or-treating. Turned out that Richard didn't come home until yesterday afternoon, so he decided that he needed to spend time with the boys last night. He took them around the neighborhood and I went to conference.

Again, this is something that I've been hit or miss about attending, but for some reason this time, I felt--not really pushed to go--but that it was something I was supposed to do. It felt right.

And it was. At first, I was worried that I wasn't really going to get much out of it. The second speaker isn't much of a public speaker. I think he has good thoughts, but he just has trouble expressing them with any level of interesting vocal presentation. He spoke on kindness and the need for it. And considering how I've felt about work lately, it felt a lot like it was hitting right at me.

We also heard talks on fidelity, supporting and nurturing our homes and families, and teaching the next generation. Sister R's talk really smacked me right between the eyes. Hers was the talk on home and family and our jobs as mothers in Zion. Again, after the week I've had and the way that I've pretty much abdicated my role as mother this week, I felt very much called to repentance.

We all have times like I've had this week, but that doesn't mean that it's right. That doesn't mean that we don't need to pick ourselves back up and repent, then go forth to do a better job. And that's what I plan to do. I've repented. I've made a plan to do better. I'm making a schedule of when and how long I can be on the computer. (Never mind that I've been off and on all morning today. Oops.) I'll get back to FHE again. (I did really well the first month or so--which is still longer than I've ever done well before. That's something, right?) And...we're going to say morning prayers too. After Chris gets home from seminary and before he jumps in the shower. Those are my goals for this week. I'll add from there--hopefully.

Writing this down will hopefully help me to make it real. And, to all of my faithful readers (you know who you are), it's your job to help me be accountable. So...the goals this week: no computer in the morning, less in the evening, FHE, AM prayers--and I might even actually plan and cook a few meals. LOL

All that just from the adult session. Wonder what I'll get this afternoon.

Love Languages

I finally figured out my love language. It's not supposed to be a long drawn-out process, but for me it was. I don't know why. But this week it finally hit me. My love language is "words of affirmation." I should've known this. I mean--I *am* a ham and love to be on stage and performing and hearing the applause. But for some reason, I kept thinking there had to be more to it than that. Nope. Words of affirmation. That's me!

Here's how it finally came crashing down into my brain. Last Thursday was our 3rd grade program. The kids were doing an instrumental program this time around. This was done partly because we have to do the program so stinkin' early in the year and partly to show off our fabulous Orff Carts that the PTA purchased for the music program. "Some people" thought they were a waste of money, so I decided to show everyone what a difference they can make. Because of the carts, I can actually use the barred instruments more often because it's not such a hassle getting them out for the kids.

So last Thursday night, the kids were set to perform for the PTA meeting. (That's a whole other story in itself!) We were informed about a week before that our superintendent would be attending and had a 15 minute presentation. Umm...okay. We'll go on after him.

(Words of affirmation. I know. I'm getting there.)

I didn't really expect Dr. R to stay for our program. Maybe he had another school to present to. Maybe he had a dinner date. Maybe his time is more valuable than mine. Whatever. He didn't stay. I would've been pleasantly surprised if he had, but I was not surprised that he didn't.

However...

The third graders performed that afternoon for the school. Our principal was not in attendance. She was in the building, but not at the assembly. She *was* there for the evening performance. She did not introduce us nor speak to the parents from the time I was in there. (I spent Dr. R's presentation time corralling 100 third graders in the gym with a little help from my fellow specials teachers.) After the presentation, she didn't say a word to me. She has never mentioned the program. At all. Not once.

Now...I know that I don't do programs for the applause. (Well, okay...maybe a little bit.)The kids did a FANTASTIC job. I was so very, very proud of them. And that's why I do what I do. It's not for the accolades and certainly not for the high paycheck. But...even a "good program" from the principal would go a long way toward me feeling better about what I do.

I don't expect to be the darling of the faculty. And many, many of my fellow teachers acknowledged what a great job the kids did. That's when I realized it. Words of affirmation. They make all the difference in how I feel about myself, what I do and who I am. That's what I need. Tell me I look pretty. Tell me the dinner is tasty. Tell me the house looks great or thank you for doing the laundry. Tell me I'm a good mom, wife, teacher, person. Yep...words of affirmation. I should probably pass along this revelation to Richard, huh?

Random Thoughts on a Rainy Wednesday

James is sick. It's not the flu or strep throat, but he's running fever, achy, sore throat, sniffles. Your garden-variety cold. I stayed home with him yesterday and today and will again tomorrow trying to get him fever-free for 24 hours.

But as I was taking our afternoon rest yesterday, I realized something. I was blissfully happy. I had dusted and vacuumed the downstairs, done the dishes and set up dinner. We'd eaten lunch and were lying on my bed reading. It was a beautiful, sunny, warm fall day. The windows were open and the breeze was blowing the curtains nicely. The neighbor's wind chimes were providing some lovely background music. Oh how I would love to be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) again.

Today...the weather has changed. It's a blustery, rainy, getting-chillier-by-the-minute fall day. And again...I'm loving it! I had to close the windows because it was starting to rain in, but I can still hear the rain outside. The dog is making quite a bit of noise chewing on his rawhide bone--but that keeps him from being bored and wanting to go in and out constantly in the rain. I decided not to mop the floors today--for the exact reason of the dog and the rain. (I'm never going to get them mopped if this keeps up!) We'll have some lunch soon, take a little rest and then bake some cookies. I'll still have time to pay the bills (yuck) and put together dinner. I might even vacuum and dust upstairs. Maybe.

It's not financially possible for me to be a SAHM. It's just not. And that's okay. My job as a teacher is the next best thing. I'm home when the boys are home usually. We're gone together usually. But...staying home this week with my sick boy (who's not so sick that he can't play on the computer or other video games--he's not tied to me 24/7) has reminded me of what my true calling is. I am a mother in Zion. I'm raising three stripling warriors. The pressures of working and running the home are crazy and I've learned to give where I can and need to. Maybe the floors don't get mopped, but the boys get fed, homework gets done, prayers get said. We play a game. We watch a movie. Or...we hang out in separate rooms of the house, but they know I'm here if they need or want me.

But this...today...this week...this is my dream. Maybe I'll run out and buy just one lottery ticket.

Rain, Rain Go Away

I am so sick of rain I just don't even know what to do. I love the fact that it's fall. I love that we are having below-average temperatures. I love the feel of the cool air...BUT...

it's not crisp. It's cool, but it's wet. It has been raining and/or cloudy for going on two weeks. I NEED SUNSHINE! Sheesh! If I wanted to live in Seattle (or Forks, for that matter), I'd move there. I live in Texas. There is supposed to be sun. This past weekend, the sun was supposed to break through. Never did. Not once. It's gray and wet and depressing.

I have figured out one very important difference between children and adults. When it's gray and cloudy and rainy like this, we adults just want to sleep. We want to curl up under a blanket with a good book or a good movie and hunker down and nap. Kids? They get stir-crazy and start bouncing off the walls. They're agitated and silly. They need fresh air. Now...put those two opposite emotional states together in a classroom or a home. It's not a pretty picture.

We need some sun please.

Ditching

We ditched church today. No real reason. I just didn't feel like going today. That's a rare happening. Well, truthfully, there are many Sunday mornings when I don't feel like going through the whole Sunday morning routine--making everyone get dressed, brush their teeth (why is that such a big deal?), eat something before we leave, find their scriptures, etc. It's usually a frustrating time, but we end up there on time (usually early) and end up enjoying the day.

This morning...I just didn't want to deal with all of that. I didn't want to get dressed or showered or get out of bed even. I wanted a lazy day. I feel a little guilty about that, but not guilty enough to actually get out of bed. The boys have used this ditch-day to their advantage. James has laid around with Richard watching TV, helping cook some lunch and just basically enjoying having his dad around. I have been in bed. I watched the part of Saturday morning conference that I missed last week. I've played Facebook games. I'm watching the Cowboys "play" right now--then will switch to NASCAR. Richard and I might take Larry for a walk together later this afternoon.

I'm not sick, although I do have a headache. I'm just tired. Maybe it's the weather. I haven't seen the sunshine in over a week. We have a three-day weekend. I'm hopeful that I can get back on track tomorrow--get some cleaning done, dinner cooked, etc. Richard's staying through Tuesday evening so he can go to Chris's orchestra concert Tuesday night. I guess we all need a day like this. Although it's true that when one doesn't want to go to church, that's usually the time when there's something there that is specifically for me, but I really don't feel too badly about today. It's a rare thing when we ditch. We'll get back in the swing of things next week. Of that I'm absolutely sure.

Weight Watchers and Me

I finally did it. I finally gave in and joined Weight Watchers. I've gained a good 15-20 pounds in the last year and it's time to make it go away again--and maybe a bit more than that if I can. I've been following "the plan" for three weeks now and I've lost 9 pounds. Slowly but surely.

I only have one very important question. I just bought new bras. Was that a waste of money?

Conference Weekend

I love conference weekend--especially Sunday. I love staying in my jammies all day and being spiritually uplifted from my couch and/or bed. I love the music, the talks...just everything. I didn't do as good a job this time of making the boys watch. Chris watched the first part on Saturday, but then he had an audition and he never watched any more. I missed parts yesterday, but I recorded it. Now--to actually watch it. That's my Achilles heel when it comes to recording conference. It's hard to go back and watch it! It shouldn't be, but it is.



So far, President Monson's talk at the end of the Sunday morning session pierced me the most. I'm terrible at service. I will do whatever is asked of me, but I'm really bad about seeking out ways to serve. I'm a selfish person at heart and I'd rather sit on my bed playing Facebook games than get out and *do*. I loved the idea of the jar of "warm fuzzies." I may share that with our counselor at school. And I'm hoping to institute it here in our home as well. I don't think I've done a good enough job of teaching the boys about serving. I know I haven't been a good example. But I believe in the adage that it's never too late.

Elder Holland's powerful testimony of the Book of Mormon was another spell-binding talk. I just love the feelings in my heart that his words brought forth. It was an amazing weekend. I'm so glad for the technology that gives us the chance to see it live right in our own living room. I'm grateful for the Gospel and for a Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, who love me infinitely, completely and perfectly. I'm grateful for a husband who introduced me to the Gospel and a family who loves me and takes care of me when I need it. I grateful for my boys who have really stepped up this year to help out and do what needs to be done.

Conference weekend always seems to remind me: I love my life!

Daughter of God

What a weekend! I can honestly say that I've never had quite as full of a weekend, but so uplifting and spiritual.
Friday was our temple day. For the first time, I took the whole day off and went to the temple. I got there about 10 in the morning and left after the 6:00 session.
Truly an amazing day. I now have every single one of my current temple cards done except for one. Richard now has an assignment! Next we need to schedule a day to go and do a bunch of sealings. One of the nicest parts of the day was being at the temple with so many people from our ward. (The prime rib dinner was good too!) I sure appreciate all the people who took one of my family cards and helped me get their work done.

Saturday night was the Relief Society General Broadcast. I always take something specific away from these broadcasts and this was no different. I can remember exactly when it happened. I could FEEL the words penetrate my heart. I am a beloved daughter of God. I could almost feel Heavenly Father's arms around me--that same feeling as being hugged by my daddy. I've always known, in an intellectual sense, that I am a daughter of God. We sing the song, "I Am a Child of God." I believe it. But I don't think I ever felt it like I did last night. And it's stayed with me throughout today.

As I get ready to get back into the swing of the week, I hope to keep this feeling with me. Or at least to remember the feeling as I teach the children of my school. They are beloved children of God as well. We all are. He loves each of us. He knows each of us. He is aware of each of us. It's easy for me to believe that. It's easy for me to understand that. But last night I finally felt it personally. I loves ME. He knows ME. He is aware of ME. What a comforting thought.

Random Thought Tuesday

Ok...I give up. I'm giving in to the idea of Random Tuesday Thoughts. Actually, I just had some various and sundry things to blog about and realized it was Tuesday. Don't bet on this happening on a Tuesday again. ;-)

First random thought...new bras are amazing. Getting fitted by a sweet young thing who doesn't laugh at how old and stretched-out your current bra is (did you really think I was going to say *I* was?) and who is smart enough to bring you the $78 bra but also bring the $30 and $40 bras is also amazing. I measured up a full size around and technically 2 cup sizes although I'm wearing one size up. That's what fit me best. It's been an amazing few days. As someone said--keep the girls happy! Well, the girls are *much* happier! LOL And I don't even know what to say to my friend who actually *noticed* on Sunday! She said she saw me and thought, "Oh! Stacy got fitted!" Hmmm...I guess that's a good thing? (Ok, so she was the one who told me where to go and what to do, so she had an idea that it was happening.) I'd never been fitted before. I'll never go back!

Man...that was a long random thought, wasn't it? Ok, here's the next one. I've joined Weight Watchers. I'm doing the online POINTS system and so far (4 days in) I'm doing pretty well. I'm not staying within my daily points, but I've still got plenty of weekly "extra" points to use through Thursday. Ooh...just thought. Friday is my weigh-in day AND it's our stake temple day. I'm supposed to eat a rib dinner that night at the temple. Hmmm...that will take care of my POINTS before I even get the week started! Maybe I need to change my weigh-in day.

Friday is our stake temple day. This is the first time I've gone to one and I'm pretty excited! My plan is to go and stay all day. And it's on a Friday so my father-in-law will be there in the morning. Yay!

When there's cloudy/rainy days for a week in a row, we should be allowed to take naps during class. All of us--even the teachers!

I'm currently waiting for the boys to finish their hot spots and showers--but I'm really waiting for them to go to bed so I can go watch the season premiere of NCIS that is recording as I type. Ooooooohhhhh...I can't wait.

I really need to get out the box of fall stuff. Maybe I should go do that now. It would give me an excuse to go upstairs and see just how "cleaned up" the upstairs is. Seriously...I avoid the upstairs if possible. Only problem with that is that I have to go upstairs at 5:30 in the morning to wake up Chris for seminary. He insists that he sleeps through his alarm and phone these days. Ugh. It was so much easier last year when I could text him from my bed and he would hear it and get up. Not happening this year. But...when I don't check the upstairs at night, walking to Chris's room at dark:30 can be rather hazardous.

So what do you think? Were those enough random thoughts? Too many? Not random enough? Eh...whatever. ;-)

Rain, Rain Go Away and Other Random Thoughts

Over a week. That's how long it's been raining. There was some sun last Thursday afternoon, then it rained again yesterday. But...I'm seeing sun today along with some clouds--so hopefully we're about done with this. I love a rainy day as much as the next person, but a week straight? That's crazy. It made me want to sleep and my kids and students want to run around screaming like the stir-crazy children they are. Not a good combination!

Yesterday, the younger boys and I drove down to Venus to see Richard's school and go to the football game. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy high school football. There's always so much excitement among the crowd--especially at a small town game. It was the Venus Bulldogs vs. the Millsap Bulldogs. Yep...bulldogs vs. bulldogs. How small town can you get? We left at half-time so that we could get home before midnight. The score was 7-6 Millsap at the half. The boys had fun for a while and then they were *so* done. LOL I think I'll have to take better advantage of my LISD employment and go to some TCHS games--if I can find someone to either go with me or to sit with.

Richard's sick. He has a stuffy head and a headache. He's been in bed all day. 'Nuff said.

Chewing Things Over

I heard the kiddos come running and yelling down the hall toward the RS room today. It was primary program day and then visiting teaching conference in RS, so the priesthood was taking over primary for the day. Yeah. All you moms--you know what that means. CHAOS!!! PANDEMONIUM!!!

We weren't quite finished in RS when I heard the yelling, so I got up and stepped out to try and calm things down. Isn't it amazing how the spirit works sometimes? I got out there just in time to see John walking up the hall and crying. Truthfully, this is not totally unexpected. When things don't go his way, he often shows up in this particular mood. But this was different.

He said that as he was leaving the primary room, someone ruffled his hair and then grabbed his hand and bent three of his fingers backward and it really, really hurt. He didn't know who had done it. I asked James, but he hadn't seen either. None of their friends knew.

One of the primary leaders was in the hall by then and asked what happened. I was telling her when someone came up and said, "It was me."
It. was. an. adult. A man who is called to be in primary. He apologized. Said that John was messing with people and that he was just trying to do the same to him. Seriously?!?

Now, we've all done stupid stuff like that. Ok, not all of us--but dads do. ;-) They grab and horseplay and then have to apologize for going too far sometimes. At least that's what I've heard. But this was different somehow. I can't put my finger on it, but my mommy radar is going off. Of course I told this brother that John was fine (and he is), but I can't get rid of this knot in my stomach. I'm really, really bothered by this.

I'll definitely be taking this to Heavenly Father for some help. I spoke to the primary leader who heard it all and told her of my concerns in general terms--because that's all I have. General terms. It's just a feeling. Things similar to this have happened before - someone scares your child unintentionally or something like that. They apologize. You can tell that they're truly sorry and they certainly didn't mean to scare the child or whatever. That doesn't bother me. I comfort my child *and* the adult--letting them know that it's okay, I understand--and I do.

I don't feel that this time. It feels wrong. And I have learned over the years to listen to those feelings because they're usually right. They're usually the Holy Ghost trying to tell me something. So I'll be pondering. And listening.

Women's Health

Warning! TMI Alert! If you don't want to read anymore about women's personal health issues, STOP READING NOW!!!

Ok...you've been warned.

It's official. Well, not "official" official--as in I haven't seen my ob/gyn yet--but symptom-wise it's official. It's been a year since my last period. I'm menopausal. Or is it post-menopausal? Whatever. I'm done.

The hot flashes that I've had off and on over the last year and a half or so are mostly gone. The weight gain is definitely here. I'm not sure what else I have to look forward to. Overall, it hasn't been that bad.

But...what's next? I need to see my gyn anyway--time for the lovely yearly exam. Blech. What's he going to want to do? Estrogen? Will I feel better? Is it worth the risk? No cancer background in my family. What are my other options? Or should I do like my mom and let nature take its course? Maybe I'll start by just remembering to call the doctor and make an appointment.

Survived Another Week

It's amazing to me how 4-day weeks can seem so LONG! Why is that? I shouldn't complain too much though because it's been a really good start to the school year. My classes are going well--the curriculum I began last February is beginning to really pay off. The kids are singing much better and they'll be reading simple rhythms quickly if the pattern holds.

The boys are keeping up so far. We've got a basic routine going in the afternoon: 5:00 homework (that gives them about an hour at home to grab a snack and take a break). They're certainly welcome to do their homework at school while they're waiting the 45 minutes for me to be able to leave, but that doesn't always give them enough time to finish it--especially James. He has to read 20 minutes every night, then write a summary of what he read. It's not that it's hard; it's just time-consuming.

At 7:30 it's time for showers and pick up (although I think we missed the pick up part tonight), then snack and in bed by 8:30. The boys sometimes complain because some of their friends can stay up until 9:00. But then, when I let them, they're whiny and tired. So...back to 8:30 it went. Besides, I'm tired after getting up at 5:30 every morning. I want to go to bed!

So...that's us in a nutshell. Richard's enjoying his job, I'm enjoying mine, the boys are just doing what they're supposed to and really stepping up to help out. And the weekends are made for fun! Life is good.

Two Weeks

We're two weeks into the new school year and it's going pretty good. Richard's spending the week down in Midlothian and getting all of his work done while there. When he comes home on the weekends, he's all ours! He's played more games of Monopoly and Sorry Card Revenge the last two weekends than he did all last year!

He's really enjoying his job. The administration has high hopes for him and is sharing those hopes with both the students and the higher-up administration. Ack! Nothing like a little pressure! But he's holding up and sounds really happy.

My school year has started off pretty easy. I'm so much more relaxed this year. Richard's stress is my stress and now that he's less stressed, so am I. (How many times can you use the word "stress" in one sentence?) The boys are happy to be back in school though they don't really realize it. But there is a lot less arguing while at home now. It was time for them to be apart for most of the day.

I'm really hopeful that this trend can continue. I think it can. I know that every day or every week won't be perfect. There will be hard days (yesterday--full moon anyone?) but in the long run, I think the good days will outweigh the bad. It's going to be a good year.

Back Again

It's been forever. Somehow, sometime over the summer, I got caught up in the idea that in order to blog, I needed to *be* a blogger. I needed to have cool pictures and funny stories and deep insight into the things of the world. And so, because it was summer (and I was busy with my two farms, apartment and mafia on Facebook), I didn't want to think that hard. I didn't want to work that hard.

But I've come to a realization. I don't have to *be* a "blogger." I don't have to do "Random Thought Tuesday" and "Wacky Wednesday" and "Deep Spiritual Thought" Sunday. I can just write about my life and how I feel about it. Sometimes there are deep things happening. Sometimes there are funny things happening. Sometimes it's pretty boring. Keeping this blog shouldn't have to be a 9-5 job--I already have one of those. It should be a place where I can write about our lives for those who wish to keep up with our little family.

So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to update my three readers on what's been happening since I last posted--it may take a few entries--and I'm going to try to keep up with it without getting all caught up in it. That's the plan anyway.

Recent History

Why is blogging so difficult sometimes? I can't imagine that I don't have anything to say. I always have something to say. But I guess sometimes I just don't have the mental energy to write it down or to share it with my 5 faithful readers.

We've been through some rough times recently. Richard resigned from The Colony High School under some duress. It was a difficult year with a supervisor. We and many others feel that Richard was treated unfairly and it made teaching a chore. Teaching shouldn't be a chore--at least not every day. But it was. It affected his moods understandably and that, in turn, affected the rest of the family.

But once the resignation was turned in, the heaviness lifted. The burden was gone. He could teach in the way that he knew was right and not worry about someone looking over his head or pleasing them. We've spent the last couple of months knowing that we had a change coming.

At first I was angry. It was wrong. Just plain wrong. I knew it was wrong and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. But slowly, I got past the anger and things began to fall into place for a new position. A woman that he worked with was also leaving and had pull at her new school. Richard's TAKS scores were the highest of any of the math teachers except those who taught pre-AP and AP. This new school is working to improve their state scores.

He interviewed on Monday. The principal recognized his name and said that the woman spoke highly of him. It was a very relaxed atmosphere--very comfortable, Richard said. They called him yesterday. He got the job. He thought he would be teaching TAKS classes, but it turns out he'll be teaching Algebra 2 and Pre-Calculus. That's exciting for two reasons: 1) It's higher level math--more fun for Richard, and 2) it's juniors and seniors. Much different than freshmen and sophomores that he's had in the past.

There is one downside...the job is in Venus. (Not *on* Venus) Venus is south of Dallas, about 15 minutes from Midlothian. But there's a positive aspect to this as well. If he were to commute from here, it would be at least an hour's drive each way. Lots of time, lots of gas, lots of wear and tear on the car. But...his parents live in Midlothian. They live in an airport community and have an apartment in their hangar. They've said that he can stay there during the week.

It will certainly be a challenge for all of us. Richard will miss us and we'll miss him. It will put more burdens on me--I might actually have to cook. Ack! But a positive is that he will have the solitude he needs to work. I have little doubt that it will be an adventure for about a month. Then it will be hard. We will get through it though.

I don't know what the future brings for this situation. I don't know if it's something we'll be doing for the next year, two years or ten years. But I know that, in the long run, I'm not in charge. Heavenly Father is and He has a plan. I can't see that plan with my mortal eyes, but I have faith that He will lead us through this and there will be blessings throughout.

In the meantime, I'll spend my summer lazing around while I can and work on my online farm.

And Then the Other Shoe Drops...

Just when you begin to feel like life is picking up--prayers are being answered positively, you've gotten a new appreciation for fasting and prayer, you've managed to have positive interactions with your children while being a single parent for a week and a half--you're then reminded that you still have to do your part.

I was running errands. I knew that I needed to go by and have my inspection redone since getting the emissions work done. I'd rechecked it once, but the car has to be driven about 80 miles in order for some computer thingy to reset. As I set off this morning, I even thought, "Hey! I should go do the inspection." But I was headed in the wrong direction and decided I would do it on the way home or tomorrow.

Off we headed to Allen to the Scout Shop. Picked up a Webelos book for James and a Bear book for John (and an extra for a friend). This was the only reason we were headed out this morning. To *finally* get the scout books for the boys. Well, guess what was in the same strip mall as the Scout Shop.

Larry desperately needed a new toy. His favorite--a tough, well-loved rubber wrench--had gone the way of all things. It was going to choke him soon because he had finally chewed off most of the handle. But it's one of the few toys that has lasted for him. So we walked down the sidewalk to Petco. And guess what was between Petco and the Scout Shop.

The boys didn't bring their money, but they still wanted to look. No big deal. We didn't have anything planned until later this afternoon, so sure...in we go. They looked around, got some ideas for when they do remember their money, and then it was time for lunch. Guess what was in the same area.

Yay Chick-Fil-A! They even grilled some chicken just for John. Did he eat it? No. He drank his milkshake, decided the chicken "felt funny," and grumpiness ensued. Why, oh why do I even try to feed the boy anything but Trix and Cocoa Pebbles? But it was overall a nice little jaunt...

until...

I saw him in front of me first. I saw him flip a u-turn and start coming our way. I hoped and prayed that it wasn't me. I wasn't speeding. But I had passed right by him--driver to driver--right where he could get a really good look at my expired inspection sticker.

Yep...it was me. Lights flashed. I pulled into a parking lot. Told the boys to be good and quiet. (Hmmm...maybe I should've told them to scream and yell. He might've felt sorry for me.)

Yes sir, I know my inspection sticker's expired. Here's the paperwork where they told me I had to drive it for 80 miles before it would pass.

Officer: Ma'am, the date on the paperwork is July 1st. Your sticker expired April 30.

Yeah? So? (Ok, I didn't really say that. Honestly, I didn't even think it.) I just said, "I know." I mean really...what else can you say? I can't argue the case. I can't say it was someone else or that I was rushing to the hospital--or even the truth which was that I was too lazy or distracted or fearful to take the car to the inspection place myself and get it done. So I just prayed that he would find it in his heart to be merciful and give me a warning.

He didn't. He was very polite, but he gave me a ticket. It's the first ticket I've had in at least 10 years. And the first time I've been pulled over in at least 5. Yes, I went straight to the inspection place to get it redone. It passed with flying colors.

So...I will take all my paperwork and go to court and throw myself on the mercy of the court and hope that the judge is nice and maybe has a daughter or a wife or a mom and understands that sometimes our lives get a bit hectic. I will hope that he or she will look at my really thin record and say, "Do better next year."

And if he doesn't, I have no one to blame but myself and maybe I'll have learned a lesson. Actually, I kinda already have because I've been to the inspection station twice now and I feel like I know the place.

It may turn out to be an expensive lesson, but in the long run I'd rather learn monetarily expensive lessons that eternally expensive lessons. What can you, my faithful 5 readers, take from this? Don't put things off.

There. Now you know. So let it be written. So let it be done.

Fasting and Prayer

As most of my five readers know, dear hubby is currently job hunting for next year. At the end of the last school year, he had a person he worked with (who was also leaving for many of the same reasons he did) tell him that she already had a job lined up and that if he was interested, she'd be happy to hire him. Now...understand that she is a counselor, not a principal, but apparently she has some pull in her new district.

It's been a busy, busy summer. Two weeks of cub camp, a week of scout camp and now a week of High Adventure scout camp followed by a week of EFY. Richard has been involved in both scout camps. Needless to say, not a whole lot in the realm of job-finding has been done.

Yesterday was Fast Sunday. I will admit here that I'm a terrible faster. I just have never gained a real testimony of fasting and I don't like being hungry. I get irritable and sometimes shaky--which makes for a not very nice mom/primary teacher/organist/whatever I'm subbing for that day. I often forget that it's Fast Sunday, and even when I remember I often talk myself out of fasting.

But yesterday was different. I decided that I had a purpose--two purposes actually. Richard's job and my dad's eyesight. So, I fasted. I didn't fast the full two meals and I had a Diet Coke in the morning, but I did my version of a fast. I figure it's a start--baby steps, right?

Heavenly Father recognizes and rewards baby steps. Last evening, Richard checked his email. He'd gotten an email from the assistant principal of the counselor's new school. She said that she had his resume, there is a math opening and she would like him to fill out the online application and call on Monday for an interview with the principal. YAY! There's only one glitch (well, two).

The glitch in the interview process is that the email said that the principal would be there Monday and Tuesday (today and tomorrow). Richard is at another scout camp this week--through Wednesday anyway. But that's a positive thing, right? "I'm very interested in the high school math position, but can we schedule an interview after Wednesday? I'm in my second week of supervising boy scouts at camp."

The second glitch is that the district is south of Dallas. For those that don't know the area, it would be a one-way drive of at *least* an hour. But...that may have a solution in the future. (No...we're NOT moving.)

So, I've come to two conclusions today. 1) Fasting works--even when done in baby steps and maybe not quite "correctly." 2) Heavenly Father rewards us when we even just make the attempt to keep his commandments. I don't know why we're having this particular trial at this particular time, but I do know that it's for a reason. I didn't know that for sure at first, but I do now. There is a purpose in this and we'll be able to see it soon. This I know.

Do I Really *Need* a Car?

I have a tendency to put things off--especially things I don't want to do. I don't like to deal with car issues. That includes oil changes and inspections and all those icky things. I don't like the way people at those places talk to me and treat me as though I'm an idiot. I mean, talk to me like I'm four because I really don't know much about cars--that's fine. Really. But don't make fun of me. Don't give a look that says, "Poor misguided female should've sent her husband." So what do I do? Send my husband.

My car was due for inspection in April. Oops. I sent Richard out to get it inspected today since he leaves for scout camp on Monday. It didn't pass. Apparently there are three leaks in the emissions system that the computer found. Here again I show my ignorance when it comes to car issues. I have no idea what that means electronically or in automobile terms. I fear that I do know what it means in financial terms. It means we're never, ever getting out of debt. Ever. Sigh.

Just. Can't. Get. Moving.

It's one of those days. I just can't get moving today. I had plans. I had a mental list. Walk the dog. Vacuum and mop. Go to the temple. I have done none of those things. Frankly, I haven't done a single, solitary thing except make waffles for myself, drink Diet Coke and play my Facebook games.

Is it just the knowledge that it's going to be extraordinarily hot today? Is it because my timing is off on taking my thyroid medication and so it's not levelled out anymore? Am I just lazy?

At some point I'm going to have to actually get off this couch and shower and get dressed. I have to pick up boys for camp in three hours. I should probably get going now if I'm going to be on time.

Cub Scout Twilight Camp - Week Two

Yes folks, it's week two of cub scout twilight camp. Please remember that I'm really not an outdoorsy kind of person--at least not if I'm going to be hot and sweaty. But overall, I enjoyed last week's Webelos camp. It was well organized and fun.

This week I was supposed to go on Tuesday and Friday, but due to a sudden pang of sympathy for a dad who had gotten home from an all-night vacation drive at 5:30 Monday morning, I offered to go on Monday as well. Which meant that yesterday (Tuesday) was day 7 for me of spending approximately five hours a night outside in the heat and humidity. That laughing you heard that you couldn't find? That was my grandmother cackling at me from Heaven.

One thing that I noticed first off on Monday--the difference between Bears/Wolves and Webelos is gigantic. Like Mississippi River huge. The amount of whining I heard on Monday was...well...way too much for me. Luckily for our little walking den, it wasn't from our guys. Second thing--it's hotter this week. A lot hotter. About five degrees hotter. That doesn't sound like much, you say? The difference between 93 and 98 is surprising. Especially when the heat index is 105. So we're constantly telling the boys, "Drink your water!"

"But I just drank some."

"I don't care...drink some more."

While waiting for opening ceremonies (sounds like the Olympics, doesn't it? It's not. Not at all.) in the blazing sun, we suddenly hear a splutting sound from about two lines over. Poor little guy has just thrown up. And are his den buddies kind and caring?

No...because they are 8 and 9 years old. Here's what we heard:

:::SPLUT/SPLASH:::

"DUDE! THAT WAS MY BUCKET! Man! You barfed on my bucket!"

Along with our giggles, you could hear leaders all over the place--"See? You need to drink your water."

That was Monday. No one threw up on Tuesday, but I haven't sweated that much...well...I think maybe ever. Someone said the heat index was 109 when camp started. But we survived.

And tonight? I'm at home. In the air conditioning. Praying for our little group who are there with four (count 'em--FOUR--I have no idea why) leaders from our pack--three of whom are men. Oy.

I'll be back there on Friday. Richard is going to scout camp next week. The coordinator from the other ward called and practically begged him to go because they just don't have enough leaders. Then he's going to high adventure camp with Chris in July. When did we become a camping family?

Webelos Twilight Camp - Updated

No, the boys aren't hanging out with Edward and Jacob--as one friend so cheerfully asked. It's cub scout day camp--only it's from 4:30-9pm. I must admit that I was really, really worried about this camp. With the formation of our new stake, we are now in a new scout district and so a new district cub camp. The disorganization in the registration process, the disorganization in the orientation meeting, the disorganization in the here's-what-you-need-to-know process, the seemingly no-fun attitude of the packet of rules and such, and the lack of spirit (or should I say The Spirit) at any of the meetings left me with a worry to the point that I almost just decided to not go this week.

James is the only Webelos in our pack. Two other boys were registered with us. One is technically not a Webelos, but that's another story. He's there at Webelos camp. Whatever. The other boy moved to Iowa, so I don't think he'll be attending. ;-)

It has turned out to be a really good camp. They've had good activities, good leaders at the stations, good projects that are helping the boys to pass off quite a bit of stuff. It's been hot, but there's a lot of shade at this particular park. Most of our activities have been in the shade and those that aren't--well, we've been lucky and had those activities scheduled later in the evening. The only activity, so far, that I could really say was a bad idea was the games on Tuesday. It was supposed to turn into a relay of knot tying. Yeah. They never got to the relay part and spent 45 minutes trying to tie knots. Uh-huh. That was fun. So, overall--I've been happy with this camp. And I still am...but something happened yesterday that has upset a lot of people. I'm blogging about it partly because I just need to kind of work through my thoughts on it.



At the end of the last activity yesterday (so about 8:30pm), we were all held in our stations instead of going to the flagpole for awards and flag retrieval. We heard the siren of the medical 4-wheeler. The games activity yesterday was "sponge wars." Basically, it was a water balloon fight with those spongey balls that you use in pools. The boys had a BLAST! I thought it was a fabulous idea. Apparently they've been doing it for years. I'm sure there have been a fair share of injuries. James bonked heads with someone yesterday and got a little bump over his eye. But...they're boys. It's part of the territory. But I digress...sorry.

We could see the medical 4-wheeler over at the games station. Obviously something was serious if they were holding us. Then they sounded the horn for us to return to the flagpole. As we were walking to the flagpole, we could see an ambulance coming up the road. I'm sure we were all thinking--broken ankle, bad heat exhaustion or dehydration. We were all wrong.

At the flagpole, the camp director spoke in a cracking voice and then turned it over to a sheriff's deputy to tell us what had happened. Apparently, in the course of the fun of sponge wars, the game turned ugly for one scout. Tempers flared (I suppose) and one scout was basically assaulted by a group of other scouts. To the point of having an ambulance called. The deputy said, "The law was broke [sic] here tonight. Some of you scouts are lucky. The mother doesn't want to press charges. But she could. There are some scouts here who owe that boy and his mother an apology."

Wow. I mean just...wow. Never in my life would I have dreamed this would happen at scout camp. Injuries--yes. Arguments--sure. These are 10 yo boys after all. Frustrations and yelling and all that goes with that. But there's also fun and frolic and running around in the woods. But for a group of scouts to gang up on one boy and beat him up basically? Shocking and heartbreaking.

The camp director and all those involved in the camp handled it fabulously. As far as I could tell there was no panic. They followed procedures, stayed calm--most of the boys had no idea anything was amiss other than the siren from the medical truck and the ambulance. So even though I'm really sad that it happened and it would be easy to say, "Well, we're never going back to this camp again," I don't think it was the fault of the camp or the leaders--even the leaders in that particular "walking den." Having already done that station, I can absolutely see how it could happen without being noticed in time. Boys are pretty fast when they want to be. And when they're all running around like ants, it's hard to know when something's wrong right at first. Then again...maybe that's the lack of the spirit again. I don't know.

Today is the last day of camp. I think it will be a bit subdued. But I hope everyone will rally around those who tried to help and those who were only witnesses and help them have a good time. I hope a lesson has been learned. I hope prayers were said for the injured boy and for those involved. And I hope the punishment fits the crime for the perpetrators. But I'm not in charge of any of that except for my own boy and my own walking den. We will smile and have fun today. And we will come home from a week of cub camp with lots of lessons--some expected and some unexpected. Sometimes we learn the most from those unexpected lessons. I hope so.


Update: Turns out the boy who was hurt was a junior volunteer. And yes, the incident happened when the games was boys against leaders. And the volunteer alledgely taunted the boys saying stuff like, "Come on! Come and get me!" Well, they did. And it got out of hand. Does that make it right? Absolutely not. Does that make the injured boy less of a victim? I don't think so. But I'm thinking in all of the lessons learned, maybe the victim learned something too. And he's okay. He was back at camp on Friday.