New Pictures of California

Chris is doing really well. Can't you just see it in his smile?

California!!!

Chris made it to California. He's living in an upstairs apartment in "The Jungle." That means it's all apartments in their surroundings, but he didn't tell me what ward or even what city. Hmmm...guess that says it all. But he's doing well and I got a couple of pictures from the mission president. Yay

 His first companion - Elder Reeves

President and Sister Baker

Bear One Another's Burdens

It's amazing to me how just talking to someone else about a problem can lift that problem right off your shoulders. I did that this week and I feel so much better. I can handle life again. I remember that I am a beloved daughter of a Heavenly Father. I am. All the other women in the world are too, but I am.

Sometimes I need to remind myself of what I always told the primary children. Heavenly Father is aware of me. He knows my name. He knows my burdens and He has placed the right people in my life - both IRL and online - to help me bear those burdens. Jesus wants to share that yoke with me.I need to remember that more often. I've needed to remember it for the past week and in just the last few days, I was reminded.

I am a child of God. He loves me. He knows me. He is waiting to bless me with whatever I stand in need of. All I have to do is ask. And when I share those burdens with others, I can feel their prayers for me. It truly is amazing.

In the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen

My Review of Les Miserables

I loved it! Really! I've read reviews that said they liked the stage version better. I liked the movie better because I could afford to see the actors' faces and see their emotions, not just hear them in their singing. And that was a good thing because otherwise Russell Crowe would've really, REALLY sucked. As it was, he was the weak link singing-wise, but his acting chops are impeccable. I thought he showed Javert's personal struggle between justice and mercy very, very well. I just wish that he had been able to translate that into the ending of Stars especially.

Anne Hathaway was AMAZING! Seriously. I really loved her version of I Dreamed a Dream. Hugh Jackman got a bit nasal at times and there are better renditions of Bring Him Home, but again, his acting chops helped cover for that. The rest of the cast did a phenomenal job. I really enjoyed Marius and Cosette. The Thenardiers were fabulous, although Madame Thenardier's laugh sounded exactly like Bellatrix Lestrange's. Go figure.

I haven't cried in a movie in a long time. I cried at the end. A lot. And it's not like I didn't know the story. I knew what was going to happen. Read the book, seen the stage version. I think it was Val Jean taking the bishop's hand. That's what started it. Recognizing who played the bishop just warmed my heart. Colm Wilkinson - the original Jean Val Jean. A perfect nod to the stage.

Loved it. Loved it. Loved it. And...it helped to snap me out of my two-day funk I'll write more about that later.

If you haven't seen it, go see it. It's a visual feast, beautiful music, great story. I hope to go again before school starts.

Happy New Year...Blah, Blah, Blah

Ever have one of those days when you are just down for no apparent reason? We all have. Mine was really nasty yesterday and it's feeling like it might take hold again today. So I thought...maybe if I write it all down about yesterday, then I'll feel better enough to get moving today.

At least I know what had me ready to jump off the cliff yesterday. I can't jump rope anymore. Isn't that stupid? I was at my training session and my trainer, Nii, gave me a big, fat rope to jump. I couldn't do it. My body had forgotten. I felt stupid and cumbersome and I was embarrassed. He got a regular-sized rope, but I still couldn't do it. I found myself holding back tears. Then I really felt stupid. I'm crying because I can't jump rope. To his credit, Nii didn't laugh but he didn't indulge me either. He made me keep trying. He was encouraging and understanding. I'm not sure if that made it better or worse as far as the holding back tears went, but I did end up remembering how to jump rope. And then I pushed 70 pounds of sandbag weights down the racquetball court and back and it was easier than it's ever been. So there was much to be proud of, but I was still on the verge of tears the rest of the day. I came home, took to my bed, and never really came out of it. The bright spot was having Richard come home from work and listen to my overview of the morning.

Here's what I learned yesterday: I don't like feeling stupid. I love being on stage and having an audience, but only when I know what I'm doing. Let me play the piano or sing - I'm right there. But have me do something that is foreign to me (like jumping rope apparently) and I'm like that silly 13-year-old again who is made fun of at school. I spent a lot of time pretending that it didn't hurt when the "cool kids" made fun of me or were hateful to me. And so, I still pretend to be strong. I still pretend to be sure of myself, but overall, I'm not.

Nii was great about it. When I apologized for my out-of-nowhere burst of emotion, he told me that it was understandable. I'm changing my life. I'm changing how I eat and how I move and how I use my energy. My body is having to learn and relearn how to do some things that I haven't done in 30+ years. That will take time and sometimes it's going to be hard in more than just a physical way. For the record, Richard agrees.

So...I spent New Year's Eve in bed. I was asleep before midnight. I didn't ring in the new year with the boys. We didn't spend time together or play games or have goodies or anything like that. But...I did open the Martinelli's at 9:00 and we shared an early toast to the new year. (Drop of Awesome!) And today...I will pack up the Christmas gear, reset the house, go to the gym and burn those 120 calories on the rowing machine (blech!), and start again on my healthier nutrition. I have the rest of the week before I return to the school schedule

Here's to the new year! May she be a damn sight better than the last one....