A Full Year

It's hard to believe I've been blogging for a whole year. If I have time this weekend, I hope to go back and re-read some of what I've written over the year. Hopefully, it's not just the same ole-same ole. It's been a good year. We're in the middle of some minor crises these days--John's mental health, James's schoolwork and his inability to focus on said work, Richard's evaluation and just overall depression. But...on the bright side...the ideas I got at TMEA seem to be working nicely for the first week. And Chris is a great teenager. He's taking care of his business in an honorable way--as far as I know--and he's living up to his potential at age 15. I hope he can stay on that path. I know there will be hiccups along the way--just like with the rest of us--but I think he can tell the difference when he's doing the right things and when he's not. It's a good thing.

Starting Fresh

I never know what I'm going to bring home from TMEA. One or two new ideas. New songs. Something for the choir. But today, I'm excited. I just may have something that I can follow through on. For the last four years, I've known what I want to teach. And I've known basically how to teach it. But I haven't done a good job at getting it across to the students.

I went to a session yesterday. The clinician uses the same basic method that I've always thought I wanted to use, but for some reason it hasn't been working like I knew it should. He had some new ideas and some ways of using the method that really spoke to me. It sounds like something my students can benefit from. Unfortunately, it will be a lot more work on my part. I will actually have to plan lessons instead of copying them from a book. But it's who I really am. Well, I'm lazy too...but this method of teaching is where my heart is. So, I'm hoping this is going to boost my teaching the rest of the year. And in years to come.

A friend that I ran into said it best, "You're almost at the 5 year mark where you figure out that you really don't know what you're doing." Yup. But for now...I'm going to try this new idea. But that's next week. Right now...I'm going to dinner. Where should I go? Hmmmm....

I'm Here

I'm here in San Antonio. My roommate doesn't get here until tomorrow--so I have a whole evening ALL to myself. What to do? What to do? So far, I've checked in at the convention. I took myself to lunch at Schilo's. I'd put it as a link, but they don't have a website. Just part of the charm.

Schilo's is well-known in these parts for their home-brewed root beer. Unfortunately, I don't really care for root beer. But...they also have Dr Pepper. Real Dr Pepper. Not the stuff you get at the store--but the real stuff. Made with real Imperial pure cane sugar. Sweeter and thicker than the store stuff. Man I love Texas!

So...I had lunch and came back to the room. I've been lounging ever since. On and off the computer, going through the schedule for tomorrow, watching some TV and enjoying the semi-quiet. Semi-quiet because there are all-state students in the hotel--sounds like band. Mostly trombone or French horn, but I also heard a saxophone. The nice part is that they're All-Staters--so they're good. Nice soundtrack. I also talked with Susan and we may get together for dessert or something tonight. Right now I'm trying to decide what to have for dinner. May do Chili's and bring it back or...I don't know. My options are wide open! Because I'm by myself and I don't have to worry about what anyone else wants to eat. Yay! Then back here for a probably-not-very-restful night. I never sleep well the first night in a hotel. Think I'll go check out the riverwalk from the hotel.

New Doctor

Richard and I met with the recommended psychologist for John today. He spent just over an hour with us asking all sorts of questions and listening carefully to the answers. He wants to meet John and visit with him at least once and maybe twice before recommending a course of treatment or action. I like this guy. He's LDS, so he understands the peculiarities of our "Mormon lifestyle," as someone put it at church Sunday (although not in connection with the subject of John's mental health.) And he's proceeding slowly but thoughtfully, I think. The only drawback is that (well, two drawbacks): 1. he's down in Dallas--not too bad a drive as long as we're not trying to get there at 9:00 or home after 5:00, and 2. he's expensive. $150 just today. $150/session from here on out. I haven't had time to check with insurance yet. Who knows? But he prefers that we pay him and then have insurance reimburse us. Ugh. Isn't this 2009? When did we go back to that?

But, if it will help John--obviously we'll do whatever we have to. If it means turning over our tax refund to the psychologist, that's what we'll do. We want John to be happier and healthier. We'll sacrifice whatever we need to. He's a precious, precious little boy. He's funny and smart. And he can do wonderful things in the future.

Heading Off

I head off to San Antonio tomorrow--off to TMEA! It's an annual trek. I always get something good out of it--new ideas, new music, new instruments. But it's also a great getaway for me. I'm rooming with another teacher from TC this year, but she's not coming in until Thursday. So...that gives me a whole day tomorrow to just "be." Be me. Be alone. Be quiet. Be indulgent. The convention doesn't really start until Thursday morning, so I have all tomorrow afternoon and evening to relax, read, do puzzles...maybe even find Kevin and Susan. I should call her tomorrow and see where they are and what they're doing for dinner. Of course, the best part is that I will have my laptop with me. And my cell phone. No more being cut off from my home world while at TMEA. Hmmm...maybe that's not such a good thing. Nah...it is--mostly.

Lesson Learned

Learned by a 9-year-old on Saturday afternoon: Never let your dog hold onto a soccer ball that has an elastic rope attached to it while you hold the other end of the rope. Said dog will get distracted by someone coming outside, let go of the ball, and it will snap back onto you without warning.

OUCH!!!

Update on the Boy

John had his assessment. They want to put him in an "intensive outpatient therapy," where he would go to therapy every day instead of going to school. They would help him keep up with his schoolwork and use different kinds of therapy and rewards to help him. As concerned as I am about him, it really felt like we were diving off the 10 foot board before we'd ever even set foot in the pool!

So last Sunday we went to the bishop and told him what was going on. It's not that I didn't like the place, but it just felt like it was too much too soon. The bishop gave us the number of the bishop of LDS Family Services near us. I spoke with him last Monday. He was fabulous! He agreed that the assessment seemed a bit over-zealous. He was also honest about the fact that it seems that John needs a deeper level of therapy--more experience than the folks at Family Services could provide. He referred us to a doctor in Dallas who is a clinical psychologist and has experience with young children. He's also a former bishop, so he'll have a better understanding of what our family believes and what is expected of John.

This doctor called us back on Monday evening. He wants to meet with Richard and me alone next week--to answer some questions and get a feel for the family dynamic, etc. Richard and I are going on Tuesday. I feel much better about this option so far.

We want to help John, but I just don't think that intensive therapy is the right path just yet. It's not that we want to sweep it under the rug, and I believe that this idea is the best for now. We're not diving off the 10 foot board, but we're not wading in on the shallow end steps either. A good middle of the road.

This is the hardest thing I've ever dealt with in our family. The time spent reading scriptures and on my knees while making these decisions has been a blessing. I feel confident that we will help John and he will be a happier little boy. And Heaven knows, if he's happier...the whole family will be happier!