Update on the Boy

John had his assessment. They want to put him in an "intensive outpatient therapy," where he would go to therapy every day instead of going to school. They would help him keep up with his schoolwork and use different kinds of therapy and rewards to help him. As concerned as I am about him, it really felt like we were diving off the 10 foot board before we'd ever even set foot in the pool!

So last Sunday we went to the bishop and told him what was going on. It's not that I didn't like the place, but it just felt like it was too much too soon. The bishop gave us the number of the bishop of LDS Family Services near us. I spoke with him last Monday. He was fabulous! He agreed that the assessment seemed a bit over-zealous. He was also honest about the fact that it seems that John needs a deeper level of therapy--more experience than the folks at Family Services could provide. He referred us to a doctor in Dallas who is a clinical psychologist and has experience with young children. He's also a former bishop, so he'll have a better understanding of what our family believes and what is expected of John.

This doctor called us back on Monday evening. He wants to meet with Richard and me alone next week--to answer some questions and get a feel for the family dynamic, etc. Richard and I are going on Tuesday. I feel much better about this option so far.

We want to help John, but I just don't think that intensive therapy is the right path just yet. It's not that we want to sweep it under the rug, and I believe that this idea is the best for now. We're not diving off the 10 foot board, but we're not wading in on the shallow end steps either. A good middle of the road.

This is the hardest thing I've ever dealt with in our family. The time spent reading scriptures and on my knees while making these decisions has been a blessing. I feel confident that we will help John and he will be a happier little boy. And Heaven knows, if he's happier...the whole family will be happier!

Saturday Morning

It's 6:30 in the morning. It's Saturday. Why am I awake? Why am I blogging? Partly because I'm an earlybird. I always have been. Even as a teenager, I couldn't sleep past 8:00 and I never could stay up late enough to finish Saturday Night Live.

But I was up at 5:30 this morning--just like it was a school day. Why, you may ask? One reason is a dog named Larry who doesn't yet have the concept of time. I really do love this dog, but I'm feeling like I have a baby in the house again. And I don't want a baby in the house. If I wanted to get up in the middle of the night to change a diaper (take Larry outside to potty), I'd have a baby. We're done with that season of our lives and I'm not sad about that. (Don't get me wrong--I love babies. I love holding other people's babies. And I love giving them back and getting a full night's sleep while *they* get up for middle-of-the-night feedings and diaper changes and playtime.) So, we're training him. And it will take more than a week. And Richard gets up with him too, but just like with our babies, that doesn't mean that it doesn't wake me up. And you know what? When Larry decides that he wants on the bed, he's not shy about it. He just leaps right onto you--all 50 pounds of him. It can be a frightening way to wake up.

But the other reason I was up at 5:30 this morning was because my dear, sweet, wonderful husband who went to bed at 9:00 last night leaving me to get the evening "stuff" done, was snoring his head off. And that was with the dog in the bed too. (Yeah, I didn't really want him on our bed, but I'm a wimpy fighter.) So, I gave up.

There is much to be done today. It's our assigned day to clean the church building. There's the usual Saturday chores: clean our own house, grocery shopping, etc. Richard and probably Chris are going to help a neighbor put in some fence posts. And we need to get some more dog stuff--a kennel and some chew toys.

But for now...most of the house is quiet. James is up (he's a earlybird like his mama) playing a video game. Everyone else is asleep--including Larry--who's on the floor at my feet--snoring.

Teenagers

While on the phone with Richard, my cell phone rang. I figured it was Chris calling to be picked up from track practice. Chris told me that they didn't have practice and asked me to come pick up his stuff.

"Your stuff?" I said. "Not you but your stuff?"

"Yeah, I wanna run home."

"Well, your father is still at school. Maybe he could bring home your stuff? Wait, I've got him on the other phone. Let me ask him."

So we worked it out. Chris has the combination to Richard's truck lock, so he can drop his stuff in the truck and then run home.

Then I start to think about this whole conversation. Did Chris really forget that his dad is at his school? Did he really think I wanted to come up to school to pick up his STUFF? Good grief. Think it through, man!

Dog Owners

We got a dog. I can hardly believe it. On Monday afternoon, a teacher at my school put out an email about a dog they found. They couldn't keep him because they already have two dogs. I forwarded the email to Richard who immediately said, "When can we meet him?" They brought the dog over Monday night.

He's an American bulldog--from what we've been told. He was clean and feisty. We kept him Monday night. The only problem we had was that he thought the bed belonged to him, so he ended up sleeping in the garage for part of the night. No whining or barking.

Tuesday was a snow day--but the ice didn't come in until late evening, so Richard was able to take the dog to the pound and check for a chip (none) and then to the vet for a checkup--clean bill of health. (I must say I'm not too sure about the vet. He thought the dog is an American bull terrier (like Spuds Mackenzie). I don't think he looks anything like him--he's an American bulldog from the pictures I've seen. What do you think?

Above is an American bulldog.

This is an American bull terrier.

This is Larry. Yes, his name is Larry. John named him that. Personally, I don't think he looks like a "Larry," but that's what John came up with and now it's stuck. He's really sweet. He's only barked twice in two days--and that was when Richard had a bowl of beef pot pie and wouldn't share. The vet said he's probably 6-8 months old, so he's still very much a puppy. He loves to romp and play and has some trouble knowing when to quit. But he's learning. He already knows how to sit on command and we're training the boys to be firm so that he won't think he can boss them around.

I think he's going to be especially good for John. Whenever John gets upset, he can just sit and love on Larry. So far, Larry hasn't gone upstairs and Richard doesn't really want him to until we get him well acclimated to the house. He spent last night on the couch. The couch with a slipcover. He's already learning that it's the only furniture he's allowed on.

So...I'm now a dog owner. I've always been a cat person, but Larry is starting to grow on me. It may even end up that I love him. Chris isn't real excited, but he tolerates him--not unlike his brothers really.

New Calling

I got a new calling today. Richard and I both did. We're going to be working together as...

ward missionaries! It's kind of exciting. I've never had this calling before. When I get called as a pianist somewhere or chorister or choir director--or even primary teacher--it's kinda, I don't know, normal? Nothing surprising or anything like that. But ward missionary? This is all new. Richard was called as one too, so we'll be working together. And our friend is the ward mission leader so we'll be working with him and his wife. Not surprising. She and I are joined at the hip when it comes to callings.

Richard got a really insightful blessing at his setting-apart today. It was a really, really good day. I can feel myself hoping that this is the start of a new chapter. Every time I hope that, things go back to the way they were. But there's more to it this time. I have help. We have help.

So...would you like to know more? ;-)

Being a Mom Can Be So Hard

Do you ever just want to take your child's place at something? Something that they have to deal with or go through and you just don't want to watch them do it--or deal with it, frankly. That's where I am with John. He had his checkup last week. Healthy and right in the middle of the chart for height and weight--even with the celiac disease. I mentioned to the doctor (whom we love, btw) that he's pretty moody and gets angry easily. Not long after that John sighed, "Maybe I'll just die." Boy, that got Doc S's attention. They chatted for a few minutes and John admitted that he was sad a lot. So, we have an appointment for an assessment at a local family therapy place that the doc recommended.



I talked to our counselor at school--just giving her a heads up. She knew of the place and seemed positive. So we will think happy thoughts, pray for him and hope that we can find some answers and John will be a happy boy again.

Revelation Sunday

It was a Sunday of revelation for me. In the middle of sacrament meeting today, I realized that a prayer had been answered. Last week, I asked Heavenly Father to touch the hearts of those in our ward regarding Richard--that someone would realize that he hasn't been there and reach out to him. That prayer was answered yesterday when our friends brought over the pie and ice cream as a bribe to get him to come to church. (And, by the way, it worked! Yay!)

So then Suzanne gave me a copy of this book:
There were so many little things in there that touched me or turned on a light bulb for me. One of the strongest concerned prayer. That I can pray for specific things. I can be grateful for what we have, but I can still ask for more. It's okay to do that. How did I not know that before? I was already thinking along those lines and then to have it confirmed in this book. Hmmm....

So I hope that I can take what I learned and felt today and keep it with me as the week starts back on Tuesday. Tomorrow's a holiday and a day off school. I hope we can have a good day--and I plan to do my part to make it a good day. And I will pray specifically for the things we need. And I will thank Suzanne and tell her (or maybe I'll just let her read this) that her husband's idea to bring food to Richard as a bribe was not just some hare-brained idea. It was an answer to a prayer. Thank you.