Personal Revelation

It's Stake Conference weekend. I have to admit - in years past Stake Conference has been "take Sunday off" weekend. But this year is different. Firstly, our ward was asked to participate in the choir. Secondly, our choir director and my good friend threw me under the bus and told the stake person that I could play the organ for our session. So...I don't really have a choice.

However, I think that these things happened in order to put me in the right frame of mind for going. I can't *not* go. I have jobs to do and so I have to be there. It's not something I can talk myself out of doing. And I'm really good at talking myself out of doing things that require any kind of personal sacrifice.

Last night was the adult session. We were warned early on that the adult session was taking place on Halloween night. The leadership realized that this would mean changing some plans for many of us and making some sacrifices. We had it a bit easier since we have an almost 16 yo who can take the younger boys trick-or-treating. Turned out that Richard didn't come home until yesterday afternoon, so he decided that he needed to spend time with the boys last night. He took them around the neighborhood and I went to conference.

Again, this is something that I've been hit or miss about attending, but for some reason this time, I felt--not really pushed to go--but that it was something I was supposed to do. It felt right.

And it was. At first, I was worried that I wasn't really going to get much out of it. The second speaker isn't much of a public speaker. I think he has good thoughts, but he just has trouble expressing them with any level of interesting vocal presentation. He spoke on kindness and the need for it. And considering how I've felt about work lately, it felt a lot like it was hitting right at me.

We also heard talks on fidelity, supporting and nurturing our homes and families, and teaching the next generation. Sister R's talk really smacked me right between the eyes. Hers was the talk on home and family and our jobs as mothers in Zion. Again, after the week I've had and the way that I've pretty much abdicated my role as mother this week, I felt very much called to repentance.

We all have times like I've had this week, but that doesn't mean that it's right. That doesn't mean that we don't need to pick ourselves back up and repent, then go forth to do a better job. And that's what I plan to do. I've repented. I've made a plan to do better. I'm making a schedule of when and how long I can be on the computer. (Never mind that I've been off and on all morning today. Oops.) I'll get back to FHE again. (I did really well the first month or so--which is still longer than I've ever done well before. That's something, right?) And...we're going to say morning prayers too. After Chris gets home from seminary and before he jumps in the shower. Those are my goals for this week. I'll add from there--hopefully.

Writing this down will hopefully help me to make it real. And, to all of my faithful readers (you know who you are), it's your job to help me be accountable. So...the goals this week: no computer in the morning, less in the evening, FHE, AM prayers--and I might even actually plan and cook a few meals. LOL

All that just from the adult session. Wonder what I'll get this afternoon.