I Quit Yesterday

I did. I just quit. I announced it on Facebook, so you know it was true. I didn't quit my job. I quit life. Done. No more mom. No more maid. No more. Q. U. I. T.

Here's why:

I had a meeting to go to at 4:30. At 3:45 I left school to take the boys home. The boys had an assignment. Pick up every single piece of clothing that is on the floor of the game room, on the floor of their own room, on the floor of the bathroom, on the pool table, on the window seat, on the desk, on the dresser - every single piece of clothing. Separate the whites out and bring them downstairs so I can throw them in the laundry. "Can we get a snack first?" No.

I walked in the house and wrinkled my nose. Something smelled, but I couldn't quite tell what. Suddenly I heard, "EWWWWWWWWW! THERE'S SOMETHING BROWN AND GROSS ON THE STAIRS! YUCK!"

Apparently, Larry had some tummy troubles. He had diarrhea. He couldn't get outside. He doesn't know how to use a toilet. He used the stairs. Two different stairs. I didn't take a picture.

So in the 30 minutes I have between dropping off the boys and going to my meeting, I cleaned up a massive amount of dog poo. I threw away the clean-up towel. And...lots of Febreze because I didn't have time to actually CLEAN the carpet. I also got the whites in the washing machine.

Went to my meeting - which lasted an hour and a half but also included good food. It was worth it. During my meeting I got two phone calls. First from John.

"I have two questions. One - James wants to know if he can have a muffin. Two - I want to know if I can have my last piece of cake." Yes to both - now don't bug me unless there's blood or fire.

Second phone call from Chris. "I'm done at school. Can you come pick me up?" What? You stayed at school until nearly 6:00? Huh. Guess it's a good thing I know where my kids are at any given time, huh?

Left the meeting, picked up Chris, dropped him off at home and went grocery shopping. Got home about 7:30. Put away the groceries, used some Resolve on the carpet stains (who knows if it worked or not?), plunged a toilet (AGAIN), put the whites in the dryer and the BOATLOAD of towels I found in the upstairs bathroom into the washer. Helped a child with homework that he didn't do when he was supposed to.

Got snacks for children, said prayers and sent them off to bed. Then...collapsed.

I QUIT!